by Jen M. Hernandez

Created on: May 30, 2009

Skeptics tend to feel that emotional affairs do not truly exist, because there is no proof. How do you prove that your partner has fallen in love with someone else? While there may exist several hints suggesting an emotional affair, there is no physical proof as there is with finding your scantily clad partner in the arms of another. Since emotions live deep within us and we display them at our own desire, emotional affairs can typically not be proven unless your partner decides to be honest with you.

Suppose you are in a relationship with a person for several years, and slowly they become more removed from you. They develop a friendship, and later intimate affection for someone they work with. While they never have sex, or even perhaps lock lips, this workmate is always on your partners mind. When he comes home, he pecks your cheek as he aimlessly walks toward the television and sits seemingly in a stupor, secretly planning out his life with this other woman. When you ask him what is wrong, he nods his head, smiles to you for authentication and looks back away. Suddenly, there exists an emotional disconnect between you and your loved one. The reason for this is that they have connected on a deeper, emotional level with someone else. Should you remain in this relationship? Would it be right to continue in a relationship with someone who is incessantly thinking of another while with you? After years of commitment, do they not owe it to you to be honest about their feelings? To tell you that their feelings for you have changed? That they now desire another? Someone they feel they more perfectly connect with?

It hurts, perhaps more so than a physical affair. Many individuals have given their significant others the opportunity to substantiate their love after a physical affair, and some of these individuals have proven to be extraordinarily faithful after they've understood the risk of losing their partner.

But an emotional affair is far more complex. It is an immediate admittance that something has gone awry with their current relationship, and that they no longer wish to be committed to the person that they are with. Rather, they would prefer to see what a relationship with this new attraction may offer, or what the world has to offer outside of their current relationship. Whatever the case, in an emotional affair, the likelihood for a breakup is greater. And the chances of reuniting post-breakup are even slimmer.

Does emotional cheating exist? Certainly it does. And to an extent, it's far more hurtful.

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