by H.B. Corse

Created on: May 30, 2009

My wife and I were accepted to college. One problem though; the colleges were four hours apart. We were so truly deeply in love that the thought of a long distance relationship didn't even give us pause. Wrong. A long distance relationship is nothing to be taken lightly, and mine left me with just enough experience to pass on exactly what not to do. I was very lucky things worked out, but it wasn't until years later that we finally confronted all the issues we developed during that time in our lives. Later we were more smart than lucky, and looked to an outside source for help. Lots and Lots of counseling.

At first it was fine. It wasn't a situation that made either of us happy, but it was tolerable. We started off calling each other every night; sometimes we'd call more than once. We would talk for hours and hours about what the school was like, the people we met, what we thought of the professors and how much we missed each other. It really was sickly sweet, but it didn't last.

She missed a night. Classes all day, walking God only knows how far between classes, taxing her mind on higher learning, it was no wonder she fell asleep before she called at the usual 9:00pm. I was heart broken. I had had a tough day too, but here I was waiting and waiting for a phone call that she didn't care enough about to stay awake to make. That was the turning point for our relationship. It is when the obsession began.

I became consumed with and possessive of the time she gave me. She had been driving the four hours every weekend to come stay with me already, but it became a requirement. "Do you care if I leave in the morning," she would ask. Why would she ask that? The time we have isn't important enough that she is willing to put the extra effort out to make sure we have as much as possible. Maybe she doesn't really love me as much as I love her. This is where self doubt set in.

I began to believe she didn't love me like I loved her, so I tried to change that. I pushed more time on her. I made more demands on her for signs of how much she cared. I forced her to show or tell me again and again how much she loved me and how far she was willing to go for that love. I craved proof over everything else. The problem was she had provided more proof than I had any right to expect already, so her behavior didn't change. All my pushing, All my demanding didn't take away the stress of school, constant travel, and a long distance relationship with a

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