by Matt Bird

Created on: May 30, 2009

Uh oh. You've taken a girl on a date to a fancy restaurant, you've ordered something really expensive, and now, sitting and waiting for your food and trying to make conversation, you've discovered that the girl isn't paying attention to you at all.

Relax. There are ways to solve this sticky problem. They just require a bit of patience and, in some cases, the willingness to be courageous.

- First, find out why she's not paying attention. In most cases it will just be because she's bored. In others, though, she might not be in a great mood, or otherwise have something on her mind. There might even be somebody she knows in the restaurant who has her attention. Try and discover what's keeping her preoccupied by following her line of sight. If it's obvious she's looking at one person, you might want to ask who she's so focused on. If her gaze is wandering everywhere, however, she might just be bored with your choice of locale, and you can ask her if she wants to go somewhere else.

- If she's just bored, though? You need to engage her in some way. Get her talking. The safest way to do this is to ask questions. Think of any information you don't already know and get answers about it. The best thing to do is to engage the girl in her interests; if she thinks something's fun to talk about she'll probably start to focus on you a bit more, which is exactly what you want.

- If that doesn't work, however, talk about yourself a bit. Normally I don't advocate a one-sided conversation, but if silence reigns supreme then you need to do SOMETHING. Find an item of interest in your history and bring it out for her consideration, even if it seems a bit random. Intriguing parts from your past may very well kindle her interest in you and provoke conversation.

- Make random observations about your environment. You'd be surprised how easy it is to start a conversation over virtually nothing.

- Make observations about her appearance. And I'm not advocating "Wow, your belly sure is big"-style comments here, but rather things about her clothes. Her hair, perhaps, or a tattoo on her shoulder. Anything she has on her person can spur a story, which may be enough to spark a long talk.

- Do something funny that makes you look like a bit of an idiot - but not overly so. Say, for example, there's something hot at the table, like a chili pepper. Pop it in your mouth. Whether you're susceptible to hot food or not, make a bit of a deal over it and babble incoherently. Chances are good you'll get her laughing at your idiocy. Come off the heat wave with your own sense of good humor, as well; getting defensive will only increase tensions.

At all costs you need to get her talking, and no matter how distracted she is there are usually weak points that will get her mouth open. Just find out what they are and your date will go much more smoothly.

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