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Satire: Helium

by Harvey Stelman

Created on: May 30, 2009


Prejudice, how dare you! Just because I may rate myself against other writers, what could possibly make me prejudice? Do I consider myself to be a better writer than others? How can I even think of such a thing? Do I write on topics I make up because they are more interesting than the daily topics? My best answer is that you check out the articles I've written, and the topics I've chosen.



Now you accuse me of not answering my own questions, preposterous! My articles, and choice of topics I believe to be important are there for all see, and judge. Do you write on this site for others that don't even know you to judge you? I don't think so, well maybe. OK, that's one of the biggest reasons we're all here.

Am I afraid to be judged? I answer that with a simple, HA; "of course I'm not." That's if I receive a good rating. If my rating is a high number, it only convinces me that those rating me are lacking true understanding. In that case, I pray for you nightly. Oh that isn't Politically Correct, lets try another saying; "Stick it where the sun doesn't shine! I hope Helium will let that phrase be used on their site.

Imagine "MY" writing being censored! I know, you can't believe it's possible either. Picking sides on debates has a simple answer. If I have written on the debate, simply choose my side. After all, my side is the correct side. Is it possible I may not be correct, it did happen in the summer of 1966. But my father changed his stance in 1967, so I consider it half a mistake.

Some may compare me to Oprah Winfrey, that's a joke. She says she gives away cars, what a bunch of...... The car company gives them to Oprah to give away. Who takes the credit for it, guess! All the give aways are given by others, and she gets the credit. Why do I go off on a tangent? It is to inform you that I only give away knowledge. My choice for President, how dare you! That's why it's a secret ballot. Just follow my writing, and you will be on the correct path. That's why they make forks in roads, to give you a choice. You can be wrong, or you can follow me.

There is one thing even I cannot understand. Many of the topics I choose to write on I am rated number one. Of course that is the "given in the theorem." There is only one problem with that. I am rated one out of one, what an accomplishment! I understand I will be rated number one, but I would like some competition. I'm not scared of you, are you scared of me?

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