by Cinda Smaagaard

Created on: May 30, 2009

Despite ourselves, we will probably keep our enemies closer than our friends (at least in our thoughts, because they weigh on our hearts) and it appears everyone from the "Godfather" to people involved in politics and war apparently have instructed us to keep our enemies close for strategic reasons. Friends and relatives are predictable. We become familiar with their habits of the heart. They will no doubt betray, lie, double-cross, and become just as competitive as the next guy, even more so if you throw in sibling rivalry.

But it will be our "stranger-enemies" which we need to keep a close eye on because they hold the ability to do the most damage. This is because they come under the cloak of surprise with malice aforethought for no good reason. They are also our polar opposites. Their dreams and goals are not our own, they have no desire nor reason to please or appease us, and this is why they are so dangerous. Our enemies are the ones who will steal from us simply for the thrill of their own pride. They will tear down and destroy whatever work we have created simply out of spite. Oddly, they do care about us. Otherwise, why would they even bother with us?

The worst example of enemies are "bullies." You may be quiet and unassuming, quietly going along minding your own business, but the bully simply wants to have control of everything in their path. They prearrange themselves to become your enemy without merit and cause, simply because this gives them an "excuse" to intimate and harm another. Here are just a few examples of adult bullies: 1) unreasonable bosses who just like to exert power; 2) care-givers who resent their own professions and resort to physical abuse and stealing; 3) pet owners who allow their animals to jump on and assault others; 3) road rage drivers; and finally 4) cyber spammers, indentity thieves and people who spider, worm, and put viruses on others on the Internet for no other reason than to be mean.

It would be important to keep these enemies "closer at hand" than even your friends by understanding their mindset and preparing for how to react. First, know your rights and their duties in any situation where another has authority over you, especially when it comes to pay, work hours and civil rights. Understand that is OK to report these folks to authorities and to say "no" to unreasonable requests. It is never acceptable to allow another to assault you in any way, by deed or word and know that certain behaviors may even be criminal or taken to civil court under personal injury.

Do not be afraid to report abuse and set up safeguards to protect yourself against bullies. It probably would be best to avoid such persons in the first place by taking a pro-active stance such as defensive driving, putting up firewalls and security features, or simply resisting and avoiding toxic folks in the first place. The best defense is a good offense and this can be done graciously, judiciously and meritoriously. The best way to beat an enemy is by "living well" and continue dreaming and building so that they become insignificant and eventually fade from memory. When you draw your line in the sand and move on, they will too.

Learn more about this author, Cinda Smaagaard.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.