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I am a police officer and have been in law enforcement for 10 years, so I have the occasion to come in contact with a few intoxicated drivers. Beside the obvious things not to do (example: vomit, pass out, urinate, defecate, take a drink of beer, spit, try to hit or try to run away from the police officer, all of which I have seen) there are a few slightly less obvious things to be aware of you if are stopped for driving while intoxicated.

1. Of course, without a doubt, above all else drinking and driving in the first place. Just Don't Do It.

2. Do not call anyone on your cell phone. I know it is tempting, but don't do it. If you are already on the phone hang it up, and if someone calls you do not answer it. If you are on the cell phone when the officer gets up to the window he/she will think one of two things. 1) He or she has done this before, or 2) he or she isn't taking this traffic stop or me seriously. Either way you are going to jail.

3. Do not ask the officer "is there a problem officer?" I guarantee you if you were pulled over there is a problem and a reason you were pulled over, so skip that question too.

4. Do not try to hide alcohol containers you have in the vehicle. You will spill the stuff everywhere, more likely than not on yourself, or the officer will see you do it. A person who has never conducted a traffic stop does not realize how much of the interior of the vehicle an officer can see when he/she lights it up with a spotlight. Movement is obvious, and intoxication requires a person to make slower and more deliberate movements than normal. Being sneaky is not an option.

5. Do not lie. When an officer asks you "have you been drinking" it is because he/she already knows the answer. When the officer asks you, say yes. Also, believe me, there is not a police officer on the planet that will believe "two" drinks. A better answer, even if you did only have two, is a few or a couple, et cetera.

6. Do as the officer asks. Everything the officer does from the point that he/she suspects you are driving under the influence is scripted, rehearsed, and designed to support the court case he/she is building against you. If you do not cooperate, become belligerent, fight, cuss, or do anything beyond polite cooperation it will make his/her job of building a case that much easier. Which for us on the road is great, but for you, not so good.

7. Do not try to outsmart the officer, or argue your way out of being arrested. If a person

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