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Dysfunctional mother and son relationships

by Gloria Jones

Created on: May 29, 2009   Last Updated: May 30, 2009

Jacob stood between his parents, Charles and Brenda. The expression on his little face was nothing short of fear and sadness. How could two grown adults put a five year old in the situation of choosing one parent over the other? The adults had come to the end of their marriage and with little thought, decided that Jacob could choose which parent he wanted to be with. Of course he chose his mother, still needing the motherly love and bond they shared since birth.

Nearly two years passed and once again a situation brought them all together for a brief meeting. No choice would be offered to Jacob this time. He would return to live with his father. Brenda had met someone who was not very fond of children and the new couple would be moving across country to California to live. Brenda decided it would be better for everyone if Jacob remained with his father, at least for awhile. That was the way it was explained to Jacob, Brenda would return for him later.

Charles had met someone also, her name was Linda. After only knowing Linda a short time, she and Charles were married. The relationship soon became one of alcohol, jealousy and arguments. Physical fights erupted almost weekly. Several times one or the other would need to go to the hospital from injuries sustained from the drunken altercations.

Time went by and Brenda never came for Jacob. The situation with his father and step-mother got worse over the years. As Jacob grew into a teen, he often had to step into situations between Charles and Linda to prevent one of them from getting hurt.

At thirteen Jacob had a part time job at a local restaurant, busing tables and cleaning. He learned fast that life was unpredictable and that he needed to be able to take care of himself. At sixteen he had been promoted to head cook and had taken on a great deal of responsibility for himself.

One afternoon just as he had clocked into work, he received a phone call. One he had feared that one day would come. There had been an argument between his father and step-mother and Charles had been taken to the hospital . Jacob raced to Georgetown Memorial Hospital, not stopping at the nurses station but on into the emergency department to find his father. Charles was still alert enough to gaze into his son's eyes and utter his last words, "son, she shot me." Charles was gone. Jacob couldn't cry, anger filled him. He left the hospital in a rage.

You would think a mother would move heaven and earth to be with her son at a time like

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