by Christine Dunbar

Created on: May 29, 2009   Last Updated: May 31, 2009

Of course it is possible to unconditionally love an adopted child. I am going through the process of adopting my step daughter, and can honestly say that she and I could not love each other more. Her Father and I raised her, and despite the fact that I did not give her life I am showing her how to live it. To me that is the biggest impact we have as parents; showing our children how to live. My husband was adopted by his mom and dad because his birth mother was young and not ready to be a mom. You would never know he was adopted by visiting them; unless they told you. He is just like his mother and he worries way too much, and he is just as stubborn as his Dad! He has a sister and they all get together as if they were all a natural family, because they are. Unconditional love has nothing to do with heredity, and absolutely everything to do with choosing. You don't always unconditionally love your spouse, or even your own family unless you choose too. That is what makes unconditional love a gift, the best gift that you could give to another.

Adoption gives you the opportunity to form a bond with a child who needs someone to bond with. It is a very special process, but it is certainly not an easy one either. When you adopt it takes time and forms, you'll experience a wide range of emotions. They are worth it in the end, trust me. Adoption is different from giving birth but yet somehow the end result is the same. There is a little person who needs you, and you need them too. Unconditional love is something all of us; as humans, are capable of; however not all of us are able to express it. It is a gift we give to those of our choosing, even some birth parents do not unconditionally love their child. Having a child whether through adoption or pregnancy, whether through surrogate or fostering is an unbelievable experience and one I wish everyone could have!

Some people even say that adoption is more special than giving birth; because you choose your child. You pick them, which gives that child a feeling of being wanted. I'm not sure that I would go so far to say one is better than the other, but I can tell you that adopting my step daughter is more important to me than having a biological child. Being her mother after her birth mother left, has been the joy of my life. She gives me hope, joy, laughter, and returns the unconditional love I give her, not because she has to or was taught to but because she chose me. Just as I chose her.

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