by Marijoyce Porcelli

Created on: May 29, 2009   Last Updated: June 01, 2009

How To Overcome A Bad Day By Using Self-Talk

All of us have suffered from having a bad day at one time or another. Some of us have to deal with those on a regular basis.

These are the times you can try "self-talk" to help face having had a bad day and to start feeling better.

Self-talk isn't always verbal, although talking out loud sometimes aids in strongly reinforcing the positive messages you want to send to your subconscious.

However, if you are shy about talking out loud or aren't in a situation where you would be comfortable with audible self-talk, this type of aid to contending with a bad day can also consist of a mental or even a written exercise.

Did you mess up at work? If so, try taking a bathroom break and, standing before the mirror (if no one else is around) outline your good points. So you made a mistake. Perhaps it was caused from being overloaded with reports? Wouldn't anyone have been prone to such an error then? You are, after all, a smart and worthy person, a good employee.

Or maybe, like Betty, wife and mother of three young children, you have bad days at home sometimes.

"Sometimes the children, the home, all the errands I have to do just drive me berserk," Betty confessed.

When I suggested she try self-talk, Betty started trying to cope with bad days by stepping for a few minutes into the bathroom and talking to her mirror.

Her sessions went something like this.

"Yes, the children are driving me nuts today, but that will pass. They are good kids overall and they are good kids because my husband and I have worked hard to be good parents. I am especially a good mother. Look at all I do for my family. I clean the house, I plan and cook everyone's meals all the time, and those groceries don't show up automatically. I go and get them for my whole brood. I am a smart and capable woman. I can handle this bad day..."

And so on. You get the idea. The trick here is to use self-talk, positive reinforcement, to feed healthier and stronger messages to your brain, to help you feel better so that you are more confident about dealing with and overcoming the effects of a bad day.

If you routinely support and even encourage negative assumptions about yourself, if you are always telling yourself that you are dumb or ugly or lack self-confidence, etc., that is a form of negative self-talk.

The solution here takes effort, but is simpler than you might think. If negative self-talk can strip you of good feelings and leave you feeling blue then

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