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I really had to ponder this question and went back and forth on the matter. Should children under ten attend a funeral? In my opinion, no. Even though the child may be directly related to the deceased, I still believe it is not necessary. Here is my reasoning behind my decision.

My parents made me go to funerals as a child. It was weird walking into the funeral parlor in itself. Even stranger is seeing the deceased person made up, lying their lifeless in a casket. That was the creepiest thing ever. As a child, I did not understand why people would want to look at a dead person, just laying their on display for every person to see. One of the most disturbing situations I have ever witnessed was at the funeral of a family friend. I was in elementary school and was there while people were paying final respects. I watched a lady grab the deceased males hand and lean in to kiss him on the cheek. I was in shock! If I had the decision to make myself at that point, I would have never went to another funeral again!

Simply put, a child ten years of age and under is not going to understand funerals. Being around the grief and procession itself is confusing and sad. Unless the child is mature for his or her age, they are not going to understand and may simply be creeped out. I had problems attending my own grandparents funerals as a child. It gave me nightmares and nights of no sleep. Seeing a loved one displayed at a funeral, often wearing so much makeup that you almost do not recognize them is hard enough for an adult, let alone a child. A child does not need to remember a loved one for the last time that way, and forever have the vision of their funeral in their minds. Let a child have the final memories of when that loved one was alive, not the nightmare of them displayed at a funeral. It can cause more grief in dealing with the loss of a loved one by letting a child attend the funeral. They may seek closure quicker and more effectively if they do not have to go through the funeral.

I believe that a child should not attend a funeral if they are ten years of age or younger. Perhaps wait until they are in their teenage years to attend. Give them time to understand how a funeral works and what it stands for. Also make sure the child understands grief and isn't broadsided by it. That way that child will not have to go through what I did, which I don't wish upon anyone. My last memories of my grandparents are them lying in their caskets at their funerals, I wish I never had to witness that at such a young age without understanding.

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