by Jonathan Clayton

Created on: May 28, 2009   Last Updated: July 02, 2009

A childs final memory of their loved one's. Should not be a mental picture of them lying in a casket!

I had to give this topic some serious thought before I was able to write to this title. The reason was because of the range of emotions and memories it envoked, just by reading the title. But then it dawned on me in total clarity, why I should in fact, write this particular article. Drawing on my own personal experience's with funerals. As well as the experience's of some very close friends. I came to the conclusion that the death of a loved one is traumatic enough, in it's own right. Especially for children, under the age of ten! From the experience of the funeral of my own Grandfather. It was absolutely a mistake for the grandchildren to go to this sacred, final farewell

I absolutely won't go into specific detail. But the person lying in that adorned casket that day, did not even look like the Grandfather I knew and loved my entire life! That particular picture has stuck in my mind for over fourty years! It's just as awful now, as it was on that day. Not to mention the fact that this event was a time of great personal loss for the adult's. There was a huge amount of great sadness, and inconsolable grief, that I don't believe the children should have been witness to, under any circumstances!

Since the death of my own father, twenty five years ago. That was the last funeral I will ever attend, until the time of my own passing! The reason being. As an adult, you truthfully understand that the person lying in the coffin, is not your loved one! You totally understand that the person that you loved and respected for many years, has all ready left the body, and what is left, is just the outer shell of the person you knew and loved. It's nearly impossible to make a child under ten years old, understand this simple, but extremely hard truth.

Now. With all this being said. I firmly believe that a non- viewing Memorial for your passed loved one, is an absolute must for any and all children! Being permitted to hear of all the wonderful things their loved one accomplished. Or of the deceased families fondest memories of the passed one's life. This is just one of many way's to make sure that the child has an understandable, cherished memory of someone who was so important in their life passing away! These upbeat, positive Memorials are of immeasurable value to a child of ten or under. In most cases, they will leave a lifetime of wonderful, cherishable memories that they will hold dear, for the rest of their life's.

So in conclusion of this article. For my own children's sake. I honestly, do not wish for them to come to my own, open casket funeral. Unless they are of an age to truly understand the very real meaning, of death. I truthfully believe judging from my own, and others personal experiences with funerals. On some occasion's, more harm than good may come from any child under ten attending these types of ceremonies. Unless of course, they are mature enough to understand the real meaning of life, and death.

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