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Experience has taught me that things are rarely as they appear. Take, for example, your local place of worship. While there may be many redeeming reasons to attend (vibrant children's ministry, "safe" teen hang out, being in a place where the majority believe along the same lines you do, etc.), I have found that often, the place so many flock to for solace is a place that can derail a person's faith walk.

The "church" in the Bible is nothing like we have made it. There, it is portrayed as a living, breathing organism, designed to help its members grow not only in the area of faith, but of everyday life. It was meant to help people in every aspect of their lives - if you are hungry, I am to feed you. If you die, I am to talk care of your children as if they were my own. If I need a place to live, you were to willingly open your home and take me in. And together, we explore the things of God, struggling through his admonitions and encouragements. No "special education" was required to share the spiritual truths. No "talking head" held the sole responsibility or reigns of how the body operated.

Somewhere along the line, someone decided that God's design wasn't working, and that "man" had to institute rules and regulations. "Man" decided it would be easier to control the situation by creating a centralized location under the guise of a "place" of worship (what happened to having a life of worship?). This "place" was supposedly designed to be a storehouse, where people in need could come and find help with whatever they needed. And while these things do happen occasionally, mostly "the place" has become an over sized building designed to reflect the ego of the leadership, while centralizing activities so that people who believe can congregate together against the evils of "the world" instead of being out and among the people who believers say need to hear what they have to say.

The whole "wrongness" of what the church has become has haunted me for a long time. I am married to a pastor, and have seen the attitude and self-centered agendas first-hand for many years. While my husband has struggled to make the wrongs right, and maintained his integrity, many people he has worked with are really no different than the two-faced businessman consumed with "the sale" and the deal.

Because of my husband's "job," the idea that I can "walk away" from organized religion without major consequence is ludicrous. However, I also know that to build my spiritual life solely

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