by Terry Donelson

Created on: May 28, 2009

While there are, without doubt, advantages to living alone, a person's decision to do so would probably depend largely on his or her particular situation.

For a college student or for a young person just starting out and on the lower rungs of the career ladder, having a room-mate might be the difference between independence and living at home with mom and dad. Having been there and done that, I would encourage anyone considering a room-mate to select that person very carefully.

Admittedly, as a young man having just landed that first professional job, and being most certainly on the bottom rung of the pay scale, my preference for a room-mate was a very hot, young, bi-sexual, blonde, exhibitionist, magazine model with an equally hot, red-headed girlfriend, both of whom wanted to share not only my apartment, but my bed as well.

When my first choice didn't pan out, however, I moved in with Jack; a man who worked for the same company and whose preference was, I'm quite sure, similar to my own.

Jack and I were room-mates for close to five years and got along very well. We each paid our half of the rent and utilities faithfully, kept food, liquor and assorted other personal belongings separate for the most part, and respected each other's space and personal belongings. The primary factor, however, in our ability to live harmoniously for all those years was in working different shifts.

I was very lucky in that my experience with a room-mate turned out to be a positive one. I have heard horror stories from friends that were not nearly so fortunate.

If your personality is such that you enjoy spending significant amounts of time alone; if you are an organized person who enjoys knowing exactly where something is because you put it away after using it; and/or if you are the type of person who enjoys having some say in who comes to/stays at your home, then I would say with absolute certitude that living alone is for you.

I am very happy to report that I now have the income to live, while not extravagantly, without the benefit of a room-mate's income. I am also very happy to say that I am happily married and have been for quite some time. Again very lucky in that I have heard horror stories from those less fortunate.

While occasionally I cannot find a particular item I'm looking for because it was used by my wife and not returned from whence it came, I am not so anal that I can't live with it. And while she typically doesn't bring people unbeknownst to me home with her for the night, I ask only that, if she should decide to do so, it be a hot female and that I be included in any festivities. I would not care much for her bringing home another man. The only thing I truly miss as the result of living with another person is my daily alone time.

Being in the company of and having to interact with another person constantly can be emotionally exhausting. Living alone, on the other hand, at least from my personal experience, can be terribly lonely. There just needs to be some balance.

Some people need more alone time than others. Most, I feel, require at least some; time to think, reflect, recharge, and just be at peace with ourselves. The amount any one person needs at any given time might be explained by his/her level of deprivation. Or put another way, we tend to crave the most that which we do not have.

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