by Bonniel Rostok

Created on: May 28, 2009

As an educator of high school and college students and parent of a teenager, I've discovered there is a fine line between overprotection and suffocation. Adolescence is a time for exploring identity, autonomy, and for honing responsibility. However, it is also a time that contains the potential for life-altering mistakes. Adolescence now is not what it was when I was a teenager, just as my own adolescence was different from my parents'. According to the

American Medical Association, 11 million teenagers begin drinking before the age of 14; more than half of teens polled claim they drink to excess or binge drink. A study by the Center for Disease Control found that 36% of deaths between the ages of 16 and 19 are the result of car accidents. And, according to the National Council of Crime Prevention, nearly half of teens have been approached by cyber predators or cyber bullies. What's not to fear? My answer, then, to the question of whether or not teenagers are over- protected is "no." However, I say this with caveats, and I would suggest that the protection teenagers receive is often well-intended, but misguided.

Family History
Dr. Giorgio Nardone, in his book The Evolution of Family patterns and Indirect Therapy with Adolescents, discusses how the evolution of the Western family has developed from a strict model to one of extreme permissiveness in which the parents attempt to be the child's "friend." The complicity is accompanied by the message that the world is a deviant and dangerous place. The result, according to Nardone, are "protective prohibitions" such as closing areas where teenagers gather, over-scheduling them in order to keep them out of trouble, or the institution of town curfews. Teenagers under these restrictions are not able to face the obstacles necessary to develop independent judgment or personal responsibility. What becomes deficient in them, says Nardone, "is the experience of obstacles one has to overcome with hard work and tolerance of frustration which can make them aware of their resources." Psychologist Jean Piaget said it in 1928; it holds true today. Teenagers need to be allowed to make mistakes in order to learn from them and develop into self-sufficient adults.

The Dangers
Unfortunately, the dangers teenagers face in our current society are real. As my 14-year-old daughter put it, "it is impossible to over protect a teenager, much less protect them." She continued by stating that even if a teen was locked in the house and only allowed

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>