1 of 3

Write now Article Tools

Page 3 of 4

"understood" is to have a close friend, talk, and - yes - be silly and laugh. Socializing (even if only the telephone) can be a far more constructive activity than television-watching, which is why I think a little flexibility isn't a bad idea for kids in this age range.

I can still hear my mother telling anyone who had an opinion about my long conversations, "I'd rather have her in the bedroom, on the phone with her girlfriend, than out somewhere at night." I can still hear my father's words, "What do you find to talk about for THAT long?" My reply was always, "I don't know - everything."

When my own kids were young teens, I, too, was just as pleased to have them on the phone or online "chatting" with their friends, as long as the homework was not being neglected; and as long as they also had a generally life in addition to the "life on the phone" or computer.

For young teens, the measure of "too much" time on the phone should really be whether or not they are getting done what they need to do. Today, with "free nights and weekends" cell phone service, free PC-to-PC phone calls, and several other inexpensive ways to have extra phone service; the issue of "too much time on the phone" isn't usually about tying up the family's own telephone (or doesn't have to be).

Even with what might be considered a "need" for younger teens to talk, giving teens this age specific hours for making their long phone calls can help them realize that the family telephone is not their private phone. By virtue of having a specific time range for long calls, some curbing of the tendency to really over-do it is built in. It may not be such a bad thing for parents and siblings to have to tell others, "Don't bother calling between six and eight-thirty, because the phone will be tied up." Of course, "call waiting" means that no important or brief call will go unanswered, provided parents tell young teens that that is the rule if a "special time" is set up for their long calls.

Once kids get to be sixteen and over, many are well past the regular "long-conversations" stage. Between being in school, after-school activities , working part-time, and being able to be out socializing; kids of this age are often not home long enough for the occasional long conversation to be a problem. Kids of this age, however, are also old enough to have their own cell phone and/or their own computer. Whether parents choose to provide these things for their older son or daughter, or expect their child to pay for

• << previous page
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about How to get your child to talk on the phone less?
We want to hear your view. Write now!