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Just as it is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, a child's or teen's spending "too much time" on the phone can sometimes be in the view of the parents in question. It can also depend on the age of the child. One other determining factor of how much is too much can be whether the child or teen lets responsibilities go, in favor of talking on the telephone. Before planning to get kids to talk less on the phone, parents need to consider whether, in fact, their kids are talking too much on it. Whether or not kids are spending too much time or simply talking talking more than their parents think they should, there are ways to build into family life some "natural" limitations.

Generally, children of about twelve years old or younger are still of "playing-outside age" (and if they're not, they should be). "Soul-searching" conversations aren't usually a part of life for kids this young. When children in this age range are not out playing with neighborhood pals, or with a friend or two who has been dropped off, they're often engaged in after-school activities where they have the opportunity to spend time with a completely different set of friends. With all this time to spend with peers, children this age shouldn't require a lot of time to be holding long conversations over the telephone. An upcoming birthday party, or being home with a flu-like illness, may be good reason for the occasional long phone call, but children this age shouldn't have the time or need for a lot of talking on the telephone. A quick call to make plans with friends, or calls to Mom or Dad at work, don't fall under the category of "too much time on the phone".

When children are in this age range parents can easily set up a few rules about phone use, refrain from handing their young child a cell phone with unlimited time, and generally have control over the child's access to telephones. Establishing an hour and length of time for "conversation" phone calls can offer kids in this age range the chance to occasionally talk with a friend without license to talk to buddies at the expense of "the rest of childhood".

Kids in the thirteen-to-sixteen age range are, in my opinion, at an age when a little flexibility with regard to phone limits may be in order. Younger teens are at an age when they've outgrown playing outside, when they are too young to be out nights on their own, when the pressures of school and activities can combine with the pressures of being a young teen, and when friends

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