by Bethan Jones

Created on: May 27, 2009   Last Updated: May 29, 2009

Self harm is not an easy thing to deal with. There is a huge stigma around mental health issues and self harm, and it's not always easy to get help, much less stop, on your own. But opening up to people doesn't mean releasing every skeleton in the closet. What it means is finding people around you to trust enough to talk to about daily issues and problems so that you can acknowledge and start to deal with them, rather than just hiding them away in a corner of your mind. When you do that it just builds up until one day it all becomes too much, which is exactly what we're trying to avoid.

Exploring yourself and your issues and problems is fundamental to this process. It's so easy to push things away and leave them undealt with and you end up distancing yourself from yourself. By working out what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you feel weak, and what makes you feel strong you can start developing the range of coping mechanisms that you have, and the ones you need to work towards.

By turning over a series of new leaves it's possible to launch quitting self harm into a very different mindset. Some of the fundamental worries about stopping self harm are those where you have to quit, even though you don't want to; where slipping up throws you back into the same pattern of thinking yourself weak and pathetic. If you decide to stop self harming while undertaking some other activities, getting fitter perhaps, or eating more healthily, you catapult yourself into a mindset where you're so busy doing other things that the urge to harm lessens, and where slipping up isn't a reason to hate yourself, but a warning that you need to work on the healthier ways of coping.

Replacing Self Harm

You've come this far and you deserve to feel pleased with yourself. Not only have you established why you self harm, but you've acknowledged that you want to quit and have accepted outside help, from family, friends or a therapist, to keep you on the right path. So what can you do now to make those little slip ups less likely?

Make a list of things you enjoy doing. It doesn't matter what it is, just jot them down. For example, I like reading, music, horse riding, web design, writing and playing badminton. Take a look at your list and divide it into section. Physical, maybe; social; solitary; creative. Now put each of the things you enjoy doing into that section of your list. These are the things that you will be able to rely on when you get the urge to self harm.

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