by Michele Blacksberg

Created on: May 27, 2009   Last Updated: May 28, 2009

The care of an aging parent should be performed by the people who will most be able to provide for their unique healthcare needs within the resources, both financial and emotional, of the family members entrusted with the decision. There is never a cut and dried answer as to how and who should provide for a loved one but without a doubt there are circumstances that lean towards the use of a professional despite the desires expressed by the aging parent, despite the guilt a child might feel and despite the belief that love will be enough to withstand the intense unrelenting demands a truly ill elderly person requires.

Elderly parents who are fairly independent with manageable healthcare problems can be cared for by an attentive family member. Elderly parents with severe, complicated medical problems more obviously need professional care in a facility. Parents with health needs in between are the ones a well thought out plan must be crafted to manage their health needs. It is that gray zone that makes these decisions difficult and wrought with concern of what is the best course of action.

Many people are certain that nursing homes are awful places and certainly some are, however, some are actually excellent and provide the proactive care that could never be accomplished at home. If you have ever tried to turn an elderly incontinent parent who weighs over 250 pounds repeatedly every day to clean up their backside or try to transfer them from the bed to the chair also several times a day, you can appreciate why nursing facilities have a lot of strong people around to help.

Skin breakdown prevention is difficult in a nursing home and impossible to avoid when the elderly parent at home refuses to budge from their favored chair or change their position especially if their caregiver is barely capable of moving them. Using the bathroom with a walker or wheelchair can be a major undertaking not to mention how to accomplish a shower.

Daily physical therapy programs are practically non-existent in a home situation where the mobility and strength needs of the aged can be so low they often need professional help on how to regain skills one inch at a time. No amount of family encouragement for the person to get moving or feed themselves can replace the authority of a physical therapist who has spent years learning how to improve and return people to some level of mobility and independence.

Family care givers truly underestimate how draining 24 hour physical, emotional

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