by Darcey Lee

Created on: May 26, 2009

Jealousy is also known as the destroyer.

Sometimes there are legitimate reasons to feel jealous. When the one you are with portrays the flirtatious player. When you notice your other half is staring just a little too long at your best friend lately or at work they hired someone new that your other half can not stop talking about when he sees you. These obvious signs are definitely examples of reasons to feel the tinge of jealousy.

On the other hand

There are times jealousy can get right out of hand for no logical reason at all. This is not a healthy thing to happen or feel.

Jealousy is a horrible inner battle to feel if you are the one feeling it. The adrenaline rush runs through you and your nerves are on high alert, with every nasty thought feeding into the feeling, making the jealousy boil until it is unleashed. Flipping out or crying or reacting in an unhealthy manner is usually the way people vent out the horrible feeling of jealousy.

Having the feeling of jealousy is usually created by insecurity. This can be over a spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend or just another person that is in your life. Someone that you may envy, someone that you feel you can not measure up to. These are nothing but insecure feelings that are usually non-existent but they feel real in your own thoughts, so they then result in feelings of jealousy.

When a person is suffering jealousy it is a constant battle, whether you are the one who is jealous or whether you are with someone who is the jealous type. You constantly feel on edge and living in an emotional storm of negative thoughts.

The battle never ends. You can console a jealous person and reassure them, but how many times can you do this? It seems when jealousy is in ones veins it seems to unleash sooner or later over ridiculous things and you constantly find yourself reassuring the jealous person that, whatever the situation is, it is nothing to feel jealous about.

The battle never ends. If you are the one feeling jealous, the feelings eat you up inside until you feel like you are going to self combust. It is a horrible feeling that pulls you right down. Jealousy leaves no room for any happiness.

Living on the edge of jealousy constantly, this does not allow either person in the relationship to enjoy the relationship. You are always on guard and so are they. Who wants to fight all the time? Fighting over jealousy is not a nourishing way to make your relationship stronger. It will lead you to the end of your relationship.

Jealousy is a strong emotion that rips through every good feeling you have. It happens in an instant. It is like a time bomb that you never know when it is going to go off. It constantly battles inside you. Giving into jealousy only gives it the green light to destroy whatever is going good for you.

Jealousy is an enemy that lives inside all of us. For some people it rears its head often and for others it is just a tinge of a feeling. No matter what level of jealousy you have, when you feel it coming on acknowledge the feeling, say thanks for the reminder, and let it go!

I know it sounds hard but it is possible. Recognize the feeling when it starts to happen and avoid feeding it fuel. Feeding it fuel is giving into the feeling and putting more thought into it. If the feeling is left alone and you allow yourself to fall into the feeling it will only destroy you and your relationship.

Jealousy is an inner battle and if you let it win, you will lose.

Learn more about this author, Darcey Lee.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.