by Matt Bird

Created on: May 25, 2009

The down side of a cell phone? I wasn't aware there was an UP side.

Okay, so I'm joking. Yes, cell phones are great little devices. They keep the world connected and make emergency phone calls incredibly simple, blah blah blah. We've heard all the debates before and I'm not going to bother trying to counter the basic fact that, in the right circumstances, cell phones are useful.

But at the same time there are so many problems with these accursed little contraptions that I cannot remain silent. Despite having sold cell phones for nearly a year and a half (or, who knows, maybe because of it) I despise the things. The number of frivolous uses to which they've been put, not to mention the dangers they pose, just drive me batty.

Most of my hatred stems from drivers who simply can't wait to use their phone. They MUST take this call as they're swerving around a corner. They don't pay any attention to the road, or at least not enough, and invariably come close to hitting something or someone. All too often that something is my bike, and that someone is ME, on the back of that bike. I've yet to get hit by a driver who's not paying attention because they're on their phone since I actually AM aware of those around me, but I don't think the day is far off.

I could probably rant all day about idiots who mess up on the road because they're busy gabbing. But there's more to it than just that. I have a relatively diverse laundry list of reasons for hating cellular devices. Let's get started on them, shall we?

- Phone users are noisy. Not all of them, but a lot of talkers out there whip out their phones and jabber way too loud in places that are supposed to be quiet. Keep your cell phone out of the library, I'm trying to read. More, they like to talk about some pretty intimate stuff at times, none of which I need to hear.

- Phone services are expensive. $50 or more a month to keep using my phone? That's pretty funny. (Coincidentally, the only phone I've owned has been collecting dust for two years now. I wouldn't put much faith in its future.)

- The phones themselves are loud, and they always end up going off in the wrong places. I don't know how many times I've heard a teacher tell the class to turn off their cell phones, only to have one go off in a quiet lecture. Or a test, which is even better because then I have the satisfaction of watching the phone get confiscated.

- They're a distraction. This is similar to car talkers, though not nearly as dangerous. People

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