by Cindi Clarke

Created on: May 25, 2009

I always feel closer to my Creator at the beach, with the sound of the surf and the feeling of being where creation began with the separation of earth and water.

When I lived in the desert in California, I often felt lost away from the beach, but would still walk in the desert and talk with Him when I had major decisions to make or my heart was heavy. I would walk one direction and pour my heart out with all my concerns or worries, sometimes throwing out a request and asking for a sign of what I needed to do. Then as I walked back in the opposite direction I would listen silently for knowledge of His will for me.

On that day I walked west on the beach for about thirty minutes throwing out all the pros and cons of a move and taking a job that would be a significant pay cut just to be closer to my father. Could I adjust to the pay cut? There would be new opportunities, but also some lost. I talked about my worries, my fears, my hopes and dreams as I turned and walked back. As I neared my starting point, I threw out a request and asked Him to help me make a decision. I created a visual image of a shell I had not yet found on my walk and asked that if it was His will for me to make this move, that He would let me find that specific type of shell as I walked east on the beach.

Within ten steps I found the type of shell I had chosen, but it was not exactly like I had imagined. The shell in my mental picture had been new, whole, and shiny. Unblemished by the waves and sand as it was washed up on the shore. It had been perfect. This shell that I found was old, chipped and faded by the sands as they had roughed away the luster of it.

Almost as soon as I had that thought, another one entered and this one I recognized as not my own, but my Navigator's. When I was listening for His will in my life, often those thoughts would come from out of nowhere and yet be so honest and true that they often took my breath away.

"True," the thought said, "it is not exactly what you had imagined, but it is the specific type of shell you asked for. Are you going to toss it aside because it is not exactly what you wanted? Do you not trust Me to answer your prayers how I see fit?"

I stopped short as I considered the thought and then continued walking. My prayer had been answered. It was not "perfect" as I had imagined, but it was what I had asked for, I could not deny that. I walked for another thirty minutes before turning and heading back again to where I had started.

As I walked I thought about how much I trusted Him to guide me and about all the times I had thought my prayers went unanswered because I had not gotten exactly what I wanted. How many opportunities had I tossed aside because they did not look perfect at first glance? How many times had I second-guessed His will in my life? I knew in my heart that He had answered my prayer and given me the sign that no matter what happened, He would take care of me. I decided that I would accept the offer, and in faith knew that even with the significant pay cut it would be alright.

At the moment I made that acceptance I found another shell, almost in the same place I had found the first. This one was as I had pictured. New, whole, and shiny, I only found two of that type of shell in my walks on the beach that day.

I still have those shells, and whenever I wonder whether or not my Navigator hears me, I looks at them. I realized that sometimes He answers with just what we want to hear, and other times it is our faith in Him that lets us hear what we need. He sees us and He accepts us. He forgives us, and He loves us for who we are, even when we are tarnished, flawed and imperfect.

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