by Ceinna Childers

Created on: May 25, 2009   Last Updated: November 26, 2010

With the divorce rate in this country so high it begs the question, "What are these people thinking!?" What I was thinking the first time I took the plunge is, "I'm a pregnant teenager and it's the only way I can keep my baby." The second time I was just enamored with the image of having the perfect little family. The third time I was essentially running away from my parent's home, an oppressive and controlling environment where I wasn't allowed to parent my children without interference. The fourth time I was thinking, "this is the man I want to commit the rest of my life to - to being one with - to making his life and the lives of our children better - to being a family - to giving it whatever it takes." Commitment - lifetime commitment - no-matter-what commitment - unconditional commitment - that's what it takes to be married. Nothing less will work.

You may be asking, "What about love?" My experience has been that commitment is what keeps you in a marriage when the last thing you're feeling is love. There will be times when your pain or anger or frustration is so great you don't feel the least bit loving toward your spouse. It is in those moments when only commitment will get you through with your marriage intact. So love, of course, is absolutely imperative - and things from selflessness to sense of humor are all important and help make a marriage happy - but only commitment will insure lasting survival.

If you're in love - or infatuated - or in lust - or giddy with wonderful indefinable feelings - and you want to hold on to that sensation forever, chances are you'll think marriage is the guarantee. When a person wants to get married, for whatever reason, they are most often certain they're ready whether they really are or not. A lot depends on a person's image of marriage. If you don't fully understand what marriage is - the commitments, sacrifices and challenges - you may think you're ready when in reality you're far from it. However, there are some key things to look for in order to determine your readiness (or lack thereof) for this sacred lifetime commitment.

A few things to think about in determining your readiness for marriage are:

Do you ever threaten to break up? You cannot start a marriage with the idea that divorce is an option. You must go into marriage with the firm belief there is no way out. How does the phrase "no way out" make you feel? If you don't like the notion, you're not ready for marriage.

Does your mother still do your laundry,

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