by Fulfilling a Dream

Created on: May 24, 2009   Last Updated: September 11, 2009

Oh GOD! I feel in love with the wrong man

THE BEGINNING

My name is Becky Sitica. I have spent the last six years of my life in a not so nice relationship. There is so much back and forward. I act like I am tired, but I keep going back. Boy, if the statement 'love hurts' isn't true, I don't know what is. I am in love with, what I will learn later, the wrong man. He is beautiful, tall, dark, and muscular. He just makes my stomach flip-flop. He is amazingly smart and talented. He is going to be a powerful man one day. His name is Simon Pepi. I met him in college.

I am a full-figured woman that is self-assured, confident, and proud. These are all of the things that attracted Simon to me, I believe. We can talk about anything. Whether we are in a heated debate about a presidential election, a new enacted law, or American Idol; we always had stimulating conversations. This was my first attraction. After awhile, I started to appreciation some of his physical attributes. One thing led to another, and we found that we were inspiring in all aspects: physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. He was a perfect match for me and I too him.

Our first two years were perfect. After awhile, however, I wanted more. I wanted to be assured that I was investing good time, not a waste of time. Because of my need to know, our conversations changed, and so did Simon. This is when our problems started, originally. Things only intensified as things went on. We became more like oil and water, but were like magnets to one another. We just couldn't separate from each other. He started acting funny, and my fear took over. I was afraid that we were experiencing irreversible changes, hurts that couldn't be undone, which would cause a growing suspicion of Simon's intention towards me and our future.

ACTING FUNNY

Why don't you love me enough? Why can't we be together; why can't we make this work out? Why can't you just love me, I would plead over and over again. I was trying to figure out what was going on with Simon. Simon would become extremely distant when he was about to make a grand exit. At least, this has been his MO for the past on-and-off three years. I know. I know. I should leave. That's what my family and friends think. However, he hypnotizes me. That big, wide, beautiful smile and dark skin captures me, every time he wants to come back. What Simon doesn't see is that he is ripping my heart out. I can't keep living like this. What am I going to do; how am I going to

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