by Dawna Dees

Created on: May 24, 2009   Last Updated: May 30, 2009

During the developmentally growing stages in our youth, we are learning how to become ourselves from our foundation up. Building this foundation, the most basic part of who we are, involves learning independence and confidence as our gender. Before we can communicate and bond with the opposite sex, we need to grow into our productive role in society. Without the strong roots that will lift us into the world as an individual, the road we travel will be rough and confusing.

Role models are the mold that will form our youth. We will be showing them responsibility, maturity and how to communicate in a civil manner, for maximum effectiveness. When kids haven't learned what it's like to be a mom or a dad, we are left with a blind generation. If these adult lives are spent repairing mistakes and learning how to be a good dad, wife, husband or mom then time is lost. Lives can become lost.

If our youth is unprepared for adulthood, our grandchildren will pay the price. We will pay the price and they will pay the biggest price. Adulthood is a freedom moment where your choices finally matter. Your decisions are a reality. If you were to start a new job, your boss would be wise to match you with a trainer that has experience in the field you have applied for. It would financially affect the company that you are depending on to support yourself, negatively, if your trainer does not have enough experience for you to learn from them and to get the answers that you will need.

A father figure is the key role in becoming a confident man, as a mother is to her daughter. And vice versa, the other gender parent is the secondary figure. In order to become great and have superior confidence in your skills, one must learn from the "master". Not in all cases will this be the option. Circumstances may render us different. There are a few who can overcome this type adjustment and still survive well. However, shock treatment is not for everyone, as we have learned from our nation's current status.

Same gender mentoring is not always appropriate at an adolescent stage because of the lack of training and the confusion inside a young mind. Interaction is necessary but not in this form or on this level. We can maintain balance from within the mind of the youth that we mentor by eliminating distractions and creating a comfort zone. Then, the transitional period it will take for a child to feel safe and to be themselves is less timely. This can be vital if a child needs someone they can share personal information and private experiences with. This would not be an option if trust or embarrassment is something they fear. Then, we are not only losing valuable time in the child's life but the mentor will be unproductive for that relationship as well. This is the opposite of our desired outcome. We as mentors may have all the time in the world to devote to these kids, but for some of these kids, time is not a luxury. It might become a penalty.

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