by Gaurav Mahendru

Created on: May 24, 2009

Divorce is a scenario where the man and woman involved have agreed with or without the help of others around them that they do not wish to continue together and it will be much better if they separate. In case there is a child involved it usually makes matters much more complicated.

A child has his/her equation with both the father and the mother. The child depends on both his parents for their support during his/her formative years. The law everywhere considers it imperative to step in as it would be difficult for the child to decide in favor of one. Besides the child would probably decide on the basis of factors like who is he/she close to. The child would never be able to understand the value of both his/her parents and will probably be forced to choose.

Considering that the child may not be able to decide who he should favor, it is understandable for society to step in and make an arrangement which is suitable for both parents and at the same time is the most beneficial for the child.

There are two set of factors that are and should be considered before deciding on the kind of arrangement. On one hand the child should not suffer because of the poor equation between his/her parents. On the other hand the practical aspect of who can provide better support to the child should also be taken into consideration and cannot be ignored.

Since the parents have decided to separate and obviously cannot be forced to stay together, both the parents should be given equal rights so that they can continue to support and be there for their child no matter what. Under no circumstances should one parent be excluded from the equation as that would take away from the child the natural advantage of the unconditional support of both parents that the child deserves.

It would be wrong if only the mother gets the custody rights to the child. Although age of the child would obviously be one of the factors to be considered before the law decides in favor of he mother or father. For example if the child is 2 years old the mother would stand a better chance of getting custody and understandably so. However it needs to be pointed out that father's can also be equally good at parenting and taking care of the special needs of a child at that age. The same would be valid if the child was eight years of age or twelve years of age.

However we should not judge the capacity of the parent to play a positive and constructive role in the life of the child on the basis of their gender. For example to say that since the father earns more and probably would prove to be a better support system, the mother should be excluded and get only visitation rights, is not appropriate. Similarly it would be inappropriate to exclude the father just because the child is young. That would mean that society has assumed that the father is neither capable nor inclined to play a positive role.

The only case where one parent's exclusion is justified is where one of the spouse shows unreasonable behavior which could be detrimental for the short term and as well long term interest of the child.

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