by Eva Nichols

Created on: May 24, 2009   Last Updated: May 25, 2009

It is midnight, she is looking in the mirror at her bruised face and wondering what have she done to provoked him to hit her. She could only remember a few hours before it happen; she was downstairs heating up his food in the microwave. She knew she had to do everything just right and not to do anything to set him off. She loves her husband, her children, her lovely home, and being married.

When she first married her husband, he showed no sign of abuse. He had promised to love, cherish, to provide for her and their children, and to protect her. Although, for sixteen years of being married to this man, she has had several blacken eyes, stomped in her stomach, broken ribs and had to be hospitalized. She is in love with her husband and still has some faith for their marriage. Who will protect her from the person she has dedicated her life? Her friends, family, and co-workers are aware of her beatings and cannot understand her reasoning for putting up with this abuse. Why do women tolerate abuse from their men? If you ask a woman who has an abusive boyfriend or husband, she would say, she loves him and he loves her. Is this really what love is about? The definition of love is the feeling in which a man and a woman have some deep affection for one another. Where does being beaten and being mistreated fit in this definition? The abusive woman is likely to have some low self-esteem issues. She needs to learn to love herself and not tolerate any abuse. If she loves herself, she will not allow anyone to mistreat her children or herself.

The other question should be," Why does a man abuse the woman who he says he loves?" Could it be that he has some deep embedded issues within himself? Usually, when a man has some anger management issues, he tends to take it out on the person who is dear to him, like his wife. He does not know how to deal with his own battles without hitting something. That something could be his spouse, his kids, a pet, or hitting a wall. It is hard to understand this type of behavior, whether is from the abuser or the person who is being abuse. If they are married, it could be their religion, their family values, and it could be financial. Being married is as sacred as being committed to God in some religions. When a couple takes those sacred vows, "for better or worse, sickness and in health, for richer or poorer" it is a covenant that both have made with each other. However, the worse of the marriage could be living with a monster and living with

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