by Skyra

Created on: May 24, 2009

Would I wear a pre-owned wedding gown? Of course! And I did - I wore my mother's.

There is nothing wrong with wearing a wedding gown that someone else had owned. I have friends who think it's a terrible idea; they believe that if the bride who owned the gown before had bad luck in her marriage, that bad luck will spread to whoever owns the dress. And I've also heard that if you wear a pre-owned gown, the wedding is no longer entirely yours. I don't see how that could be true. It isn't the dress that makes the wedding. The bride and everyone and thing there, the whole show, is what makes a wedding. True, it's a woman's big, special day but why let it be defined by a dress?

I happily wore my mother's wedding dress. My marriage has been very happy. My mother's was not and she was divorced within two years. So I know the idea of bad luck following the wedding dress itself is not true. The dress is not what makes the wedding or the marriage. If your husband truly loves you, it will not matter if your dress is second-hand or not. He won't care so long as he sees you coming down that aisle. Impressing his family with a fancy dress is really unnecessary; if they like you they like you and if they don't, well, they don't. In-laws do not seem to change their minds very often, at least in my experience. Your own family and friends care about nothing more than your happiness. It doesn't matter if you paid $5 or $5000 - they only want you to be happy.

Your wedding day is what you make it, nothing more and nothing less. There are beautiful dresses in consignment shops that won't cost a fortune. Nor will they take away from the wedding or announce, "Hey! I'm second-hand!" If the bride is happy, that is what will be remembered. People should not judge you by the dress you wear to your wedding, and if they do, they really don't need to be there. A high price doesn't always equal great quality or beauty. Something that is free, like wearing my mother's gown, can be just as beautiful as something from a fancy bridal shop that costs $3000. Sometimes it's better quality; I had a friend whose gown ripped during her wedding and she'd paid over $2500 for it. The seams just came undone from bad workmanship. My mother's can still be passed down to my daughter should I have one and it had been hand-made for my mother.

In today's economy, it's hard to come up with the money for a nice wedding. A co-worker of mine recently got married and her wedding budget was $15,000. $8000 went to the actual ceremony and the honeymoon. The rest was just her dress. Sad thing is, everyone who attended remembers how she and her husband behaved and how happy they were, not her gown. She doesn't even remember all the details about her wedding dress. Now she's in debt and actually regretting her decision to spend so much on a dress that she can't sell for half of what she paid for. Did she really want a brand new gown that costs that much? No; she only bought it because she thought she was supposed to, that a bride was supposed to always have a new gown. She wishes now she'd done what she wanted and bought the gorgeous dress she'd seen in a second-hand shop; she remembers it.

To each their own - some have no problem wearing a pre-owned dress and some do. It depends on what makes you happy - can you be happy wearing a dress someone else has owned, making it your own and making your day special using it? Or do you have to have something brand new to mark your day? However you choose is your choice, but you have to remember - the bride makes the dress, not the other way around.

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