by Ann E. Smith

Created on: May 24, 2009   Last Updated: July 13, 2009

Certain people are exhausting, and on a consistent basis. These types tend to have a lot of problems, and they want you to be their sounding board.

Sadly, they enjoy stirring up the pot and creating drama in all kinds of situation. They make extreme demands on their friends and families.

Energy vampires tend to be abnormally self-absorbed. Even worse, they are usually experts at the blame game, and almost always see themselves as victims.

If you know someone like this, what can you do? Below are a few suggestions on how to deal with people who drain your energy.

1) Do not get too close.

If at all possible, do not get too close to a person who is an exhausting personality. Now this may be difficult if your husband or child is one of these difficult people.

But, if this person is a friend, co-worker or cousin, draw some boundaries and stay at a safe distance. This way, this person will be unable to exhaust you too much, as they will not feel close enough to you to push your limits.

Keep in mind that a problematic person of this nature will suck energy out of anyone who allows them to do so. It is just part of who they are and how they operate. So your best bet is to care for this person from as far away as you can get.

2) Limit the amount of time you spend with this person.

Similar but slightly different from the first suggestion is for you to limit the amount of time you spend with a problematic person. Some people are just much easier to deal with in small doses. It is up to you to not make yourself too available, whether that be in person, via the telephone or online.

3) Do not engage in the drama.

Certain people love drama for drama's sake. While they will do their best to stir up trouble, you do not have to engage!

So, the next time this problematic person starts to tell you a story that sounds suspect, just do not ask questions. In fact, let whatever they are saying go in one ear and out the other.

The beauty of this tactic is the following: when a high maintenance person realizes you are not buying into their antics, they will often move on to someone else. That's right.

Remember that these people want any kind of attention, even negative attention. If you choose to politely disengage from their behavior, then they will not be satisfied. As they realize you are not playing their game, they will find some poor soul who is more willing to engage.

4) Walk away when necessary.

High maintenance people take advantage of the compassion and good manners of others. But, you do not have to let it continue. When an exhausting person is going on and on, and you know that they are just doing so for attention or to hear themselves talk, feel free to walk away.

You are under no obligation to be a part of this behavior. And, by removing yourself from a situation, you are sending a message that is loud and clear: you do not have time for this person's nonsense.

Sometimes actions speak far louder than words. If the problematic person realizes you will remove yourself when they are acting out, they may magically start showing better behavior when around you.

These are but a few suggestions on how to deal with people who drain your energy. Remember that life is short, and as a result, you do not want to spend too much time around someone who is just using you as a sounding board or exhausting you. Really, they are capable of finding someone else for that role.

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