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Desperate singles: Going too far in the quest for coupledom

by Matt Bird

Created on: May 23, 2009

The single life can be great. It allows for a level of independence and self-assurance that you may never get when you're one half of a couple. There are plenty of advantages to coming home and having a bed all to yourself.

But not everybody can see those advantages - or, if they do, the pros of having somebody far outweigh the cons. These people may be so desperate to find somebody else that they'll go to exceptional lengths to find a partner. And, far from finding somebody, these lengths may isolate these poor loners more than ever.

Here are a few signs that you might have gone a bit too far in trying to find special someone. Hopefully not many of them (if any!) apply to you.

1.) You're in a long-distance online relationship. Yes, sometimes these couples just click, and that's fine if you really think you've found a soul mate. But there are so many downsides to speaking to somebody over the Internet alone that you really need to be desperate to give it a shot - especially if you do it time after time after time.

2.) You have pets. Lots and lots of pets. Having a cat or two for companions is fine. Filling the gap with dozens of little fuzzies, though? Yes, you're truly desperate for some person-on-person attention.

3.) You're enrolled in multiple dating services. And you use them constantly, whether you find success or not. AND you check each of them, multiple times a day.

4.) When you end up getting dates, you almost always scare them off. This is probably from a combination of over-clinginess and too much talk of the future. A person isn't likely to fall madly in love with you the moment they meet you, and they DON'T want to start imagining you as a prospective bride or groom.

5.) When you like somebody, you show up where you know they'll be. You make a point of knowing where they live, where they work and what they friends they have, thereby maximizing your chances of seeing them. Generally speaking we call these people 'stalkers'.

6.) You'll settle for anybody. Some of us are so desperate to find our other half that, when we DO find somebody, we idolize them no matter what. They could be the most villainous scumbag in the world, but we don't care so long as they're willing to stay with us. If everybody you see - regardless of their personality - seems like a good match, you probably need to reevaluate your life.

Quite often finding the right person is a matter of chance. These things just happen one day. You'll never see it coming, nor be able to orchestrate its happening in any way. Be patient, don't get too desperate and you'll probably have somebody at your side before you know it - and without having to resort to extreme tactics. Trust me, they seldom work in the long run.

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