by Christine G.

Created on: May 23, 2009

Imagine, for a moment, that you have found the perfect diet program. This one is guaranteed to achieve that elusive goal, "ideal weight". All you have to do is put your life on hold for a few months, and then you can live happily ever after . . . .

This is the propaganda the diet industry wants us to believe. The truth is that a change in body size cannot make anyone happy. Happiness requires purpose, identity, self-esteem, love, gratitude, and the ability to laugh at ourselves. Body size may complicate or ease our lives, but it is not the main event.

Women like to focus on body size because it is something that they have hope of controlling. When the diet demons take over, the scale becomes god. The value of a day or week is measured in ounces and inches lost or gained. All other issues pale in comparison. Purpose, identity, self-esteem, love, gratitude, laughter, and life itself are put on hold. They must wait until the numbers are right.

Achieving the right numbers is cause for great celebration. But what happens the morning after? The owner of that perfect body is still the same person. Now what? Lose a little, gain a little, shop for more flattering clothes, get a beauty make-over, maybe some funky accessories? Maybe we need some new relationships - new partner, new job, new friends, new party crowd. No matter how much we tinker with our lives, no significant improvement will result until we get back to the basics and learn to love ourselves, body and all.

Where to begin? Go to the mirror, look at yourself with kindness, and say out loud, "I love you just as you are." If that sounds hollow, forced, or hypocritical, do it again. And again.

Next, say to your beloved self, "I promise to be your best friend and take care of you." That implies a new order of relating to yourself, replacing negative self-talk with positive, encouraging messages. Resolve to adopt a new lifestyle which replaces ridicule with praise, discouragement with hope, loathing with love.

Hang out with people who lift you up instead of putting you down. Limit contact with those who send you the message that you are not meeting their expectations. Enlarge your circle of friends by joining a support group, an activist organization, or a class for learning something you are truly interested in.

Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Instead of focusing on comparing yourself to the people around you, invest yourself in a larger cause that will enable

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