by Gaurav Mahendru

Created on: May 22, 2009   Last Updated: May 25, 2009

I am single man who is not in any serious relationship at the moment. However, I believe that planning whether a couple should have a child and going through with it should be done together by the man and woman involved.

This can be done easily in case of a planned pregnancy as the man and woman can discuss well in advance whether they want to have a baby or not and also who will play what role and to what extent as far as the baby is concerned.

As far as an unplanned pregnancy is concerned all the decisions will obviously have to be taken quickly and therefore it does put more pressure on both the man and the woman. However both the man and woman should definitely put forward their point of view and also specify what role they can play and how they can contribute before deciding whether they would like to go ahead or abort.

Having said that, I would like to add that yes women have a right to decide too and women should be more forthright at the beginning of a relationship whether they see a child in the near or distant future for sure or not. For example, if a woman does not see her becoming a mother or at least not with the man she is with she should make it clear from the word go. Setting the right expectation can save a lot of pain in the end. The same applies in the case of an unplanned pregnancy and if the woman does not want to be a mother at all and sees it as an impediment than by all means an abortion is the only way out. But keeping the channel of communication open is essential as otherwise the man feels left out in a relationship.

Men on the other hand should know that they alone cannot decide and should play a more pro active role in their relationships. Matters related to a child should be discussed well in advance in any relationship, in fact it should be decided in the early part of their relationship and both the man and woman need to make it clear what should happen in case of an unplanned pregnancy.

A child should make them both happy and if they do not see that happening then It is better avoided as if one partner is not bored then the child could suffer while both man and woman slug it out after the child is born. As someone said, "Every blessing if not used properly becomes a curse".

One last point that needs to be made is that unplanned pregnancies should be avoided as it is they which usually create a situation for both man and woman and catches them unprepared.

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