by Cindi Clarke

Created on: May 22, 2009

If you have just realized that your new pet is shy and are not sure what to do, some tips that might help are to consider what a shy child might do and how they might react in different situations.

The most important thing to remember when dealing with a shy pet is that you need to respect their boundaries. Trying to force a pet to not be shy is certain to result in failure, as well as traumatize the pet. Often a pet is shy around only specific people due to previous abuse that you might be unaware of and their shyness is a form of self-preservation. Perhaps the pet was abused by a man with a beard and has now become shy around men with beards. Only time and patience will help the pet to regain trust again in someone that it is afraid to be around.

If you have a new puppy or kitten, a good way to prevent it from becoming shy as it matures is to be sure that it is properly socialized. But as more and more people are reaching out to adopt or rescue adult dogs, often the new member of the family comes with its own personality quirks - much like a new in-law can!

First you must make a safe area for your new pet, whether it is a crate for a dog, or a space in the back of a closet or under a bed for a cat. Regardless of where, it must be a space that your pet feels secure in, and feels that it can get to it safely and quickly. Locking your new pet in a room with ten people it does not know will terrorize it and cause it to become even more fearful of new people and situations. At the same time, throwing a dog into a room with the existing dog of the household to "duke it out" is cruel and dangerous.

Consider your own feelings the last time you started at a new school, a new job, or a new city. How did you make friends? Did you appreciate being cornered by the local "big man on campus" and having him do the "Alpha Dog" chest pounding to let you know just where you stood on the campus? Or perhaps the person who was striving to be the boss's new pet whose nose was so brown you wouldn't know if he had dirt on his face, who "just happened" to catch you in the hall to make sure you understood that he or she was the boss's favorite anything?

When reaching out to a shy pet, respect them. Give them safe places and space for them to decide to come to you or just watch from a safe distance. Let them approach you as they become accustomed to your routine. Talk to them in a calm manner, even if you cannot see them, because they can probably hear your voice and it will become reassuring to them. Avoid sudden movements or loud noises. When you leave for work, leave your pajamas or a shirt out where they can smell it to become accustomed to your smell even when you are not home.

As your pet becomes more comfortable around you and other people, training it will become easier. With love and patience, your new "shy" pet could become your next best friend!

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