by Jennifer Rojas

Created on: May 21, 2009   Last Updated: May 29, 2009

Having been married for nearly six years now, I have seen the effect of weight on our relationship. There is no easy way to tell your partner that their weight is a problem, especially, when it comes to sex. Sex is almost an essential in a marriage, and probably the least discussed in a relationship, especially those who have been married for awhile. It seems that the longer a couple is married, then the more they learn to just "tolerate" what they don't like. When the opposite partner cannot enjoy sex because of the excess weight of the other, than the problem is bigger than most understand.

It has nothing to do with vanity, or being judgemental. It is hard for the other partner to come out and say, "I cannot enjoy sex because you weigh too much or too little." Having had experience, letting the problem linger will only make the problem bigger. Eventually, your sex life begins to die off and you may notice other "irritating" factors that might steer you away from being intimate with your partner. If your partner is overweight, it may begin to irritate you to see them eating. On the other hand, it may irritate the partner with the one who is underweight to see them refuse to eat. Then, weight is no longer the issue. Saving your relationship or marriage becomes the issue.

For all of those overweight partners, I will tell you that your weight is effecting your partners ability to enjoy sex. You can be sure that they will probably not come out and say that it is, and might do quite the opposite and tell you that it has no effect of their ability to enjoy sex. Your partner loves you and doesn't want to hurt you by telling you that your weight is effecting your sex life.

Most times, your partner will make insinuations before they come out and tell you what the problem really is. Remember, they love you and don't want to hurt you, so pay attention to those comments. For example, your partner may frequently prefer to be on the top of you during intercourse than the bottom, if you are overweight, or if you are too thin then your partner may prefer you on top because of fear that they are going to hurt you. Something else that they might say is that they are feeling like they can't breath and may make an excuse (like being clastorphobic) as to not hurt your feelings.

Next to the discomfort of sex with an overweight or underweight person is the persons stamina. Obesity will especially effect the stamina of people when it comes to sex. The same

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