by Lillith Black

Created on: May 21, 2009   Last Updated: May 22, 2009

Have you ever been sitting one the sofa next to your girl watching tv, thinking all is well, wondering what is for dinner and whether or not you'll get to have sex that night and all of a sudden she's furious with you? Have no idea what you're doing wrong? Ever get accused of not listening? How about that you don't care about her feelings? This may help a bit. I am a girl, and an emotional, romantic one. My fiance has these issues often enough with me. He is not a romantic kind of guy, and his idea of a present is an oil change for the car.

My number one piece of inside information for you is: she doesn't think like you do. When you do something for her make sure you think about her psyche, not your own. Men do things because that's what makes sense to them, and women do the same. That's why we drive each other nuts. When you want to please your woman (or ANY woman, for that matter) try to get into her head. Try to think about how something you're doing makes her feel.

For example, take my 'present' of an oil change. He thought, wow, an oil change is tons of work and I get all dirty and she doesn't have to pay Grease Monkey to do this... perfect present! He texts me saying, "I got you a PRESENT!" I'm wondering what kind of jewelry, flowers, or something pretty I got. Super excited me comes home and waits and waits and waits for my present. He tells me about the oil change and I'm not excited and he's completely confused. Anyone guess why? He may have done something nice for me, but he didn't think about how I would feel about that present (or its status as a present!). He didn't put himself in my mind or my shoes. He didn't stop to think if I would like things like a back rub or flowers or a nice dinner out or any of the girly things out there (guys- do a search for romantic gifts or romantic evenings if you aren't good at this stuff!). Women DO appreciate all the things you do for us, that we don't want to do ourselves. We love you for it. They don't make us happy, though. The little things do.

Have you ever wondered how to tell what your lover wants? Women want romance. I know I'm generalizing here, but bear with me. This may not seem like the manliest thing to do, but you should pick up a romance novel or three. It doesn't have to be a gushy girly one. They write them in all genres (I like the horror/fantasy ones- vampires, werewolves, murder, sex and mystery...). Read it and see what the women in those books wish for their lovers to do. See

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