by Ma. Teresa Baniaga

Created on: May 21, 2009   Last Updated: May 22, 2009

Success is very relative. What may be "success" for one person is merely mediocre performance to someone with very high standards. Therefore, it is important for parents to be wary of ramming their own notion of "success" down their children's throats. While the whole family have very similar genetic make up, children are still distinct and unique individuals, each with their own likes, dislikes, capacities and inclinations.

Parents should also remember that they are not owners, but rather stewards of their precious children. These individuals have been entrusted to their care until such time that they are able to live independently. Though parents will always cherish their children even beyond those years of dependence on them for sustenance and support, there will really come a time for them to let the young ones go to make it on their own.

If you maintain this attitude towards parenthood, you are more likely to influence (notice the word, influence, not push) your children to be successful. For one, you are aware that your window of opportunity to guide them towards success is limited, thus, you make wise use of that time to train them and bring them up to the best of your knowledge.

Second, if you know that they were merely entrusted to your care, you can accept that at the end of the day, it is their decision to make what they want to pursue in life without any feelings of guilt, remorse or regret on your part. This unburdens you and allows you to make mistakes sometimes while still keeping your eye on your objective to be a good parent. Parenting becomes less of a burden that way.

Last but not least, this approach to parenthood also humbles you, knowing that you were entrusted with those precious individuals whom you can immensely influence for good while they are with you. Humbly accepting this responsibility motivates you to give your best as a parent, mentor, friend to your children.

At this point, you should also know what "pushing" is and what it is not. Pushing a child to succeed is when it is your dreams already for the child that you want realized, not their own. It is important that a child has a sense of ownership of the success you both want them to achieve. If a child recognizes that this is what he wants in life, there is hardly any pushing necessary for him to work harder.

Pushing towards success also happens when there is coercion on your part for the child to do something, as when they are punished for not practicing on the piano enough. When

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