by Victoria Rose Perkins

Created on: May 20, 2009

Listening skills are key to effective work and personal relationships. By listening intently to what the other person is saying, you are dignifying them with respect. In turn, they will respect you.

When you give your full attention to the one speaking to you, in effect, you are saying "what you have to say is important to me." Then this person will know you genuinely consider them worth listening to.

Making good eye contact is also a great physical way to show you are listening. Who wants to discuss important matters with someone who is glancing over your shoulder, shuffling their feet or have their arms crossed. Its not inviting or mannerly.

People who really listen and consider what others have to say, send a silent message. It shows you are reasonable, caring and considerate. In work relationships this is critical, whether you are the boss or the employee.

When a person feels he is being heard, it can avoid a heated argument. They do not have to become defensive to get their point across. They see you as a good listener and gain confidence in your ability to make decisions. This is a tremendously needed quality in the business world.

Do we not all appreciate it when others hear us out? To ensure you have good listening skills, ask yourself the following:

1. When I am listening, is it with both ears or is my mind jumping ahead to something else?

2. Am I already thinking of a "come-back" answer before the person finishes putting thier thoughts into words?

3. Do I interrupt the other person and try to anticipate where he/she is going in the conversation?

4. When they are finished speaking, do I know exactly what they are talking about?

5. Do I acknowledge what they said afterwards to them by paraphrasing their conversation?

A good reminder to all of us in all relationships is this. We all came into this world with two ears and only one mouth. This sort of indicates, perhaps we all should listen twice as much as we speak. No one appreciates being ignored, misunderstood and not paid attention to when they feel they have something important to discuss.

By being a good listener at work, you will earn great respect no matter what position you are in. Less mistakes will be made on the job and this can be critical when it comes to safety or money issues. Paying attention to what others have to say, can prevent arguments and ensure better working relationships between all involved.

We all need to feel we are being carefully heard when we speak. In the work world, this builds trust and makes for better working conditions and promotes mutual respect among all employees and employers. It works at home, too.

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