It started with the Civil Rights Movement and moved into the days of burning bras. It still goes on today, with women struggling against the ever-present glass ceiling. However, while most women fight for recognition and respect in the male-dominated work force, stay-at-home moms are fighting for the respect they deserve as hardworking individuals. Everyone has a preconceived notion about people who don't hold traditional 9-to-5 jobs, and it is important to have all the facts before you make that judgment.
In order to reestablish the respect stay-at-home moms deserve, I am going to argue against three stereotypes that are too often associated with these dedicated women: that SAHMs are lazy housewives, that SAHMs are uneducated, and that they are a financial drain on the family.
The most inaccurate stereotype towards SAHMs is that they are lazy. I did an informal poll of eight people. I asked, "What comes to mind when you hear the term "stay-at-home mom?" Six of those eight people replied with housewife, implying that a SAHM's only duty is to be a wife at home. Their further descriptions included going out to lunch everyday, watching soap operas, and surfing the Internet with all of their leisurely time.
These are the same people that look down on SAHMs because they don't hold a traditional job, working a full eight-hour day. I have to admit, as a SAHM, I do not work eight hours. I don't get up at seven and go into work at nine to work eight hours with two smoke breaks and an hour lunch in between. Instead, I am "on call" 24-hours a day. In fact, I don't go to bed until after 11:00 and I get up at 6:30. On top of that, I get up 2-3 times a night to care for the baby. During the day, I juggle a toddler and a baby, and the only time to really get for cooking, cleaning, laundry, and errands is naptime...when is the time for soaps and Internet surfing? On top of that, I don't get overtime, sick pay, vacation time, health benefits or 401k. Salary.com estimates the salary for a SAHM to be well over $90,000, with overtime +$25,000. This is not the salary of a person with too much time on their hands!
The second offensive stereotype is that SAHMs are uneducated. The idea is that if the woman had a worthy degree, she would be in the workforce earning more money for the family. These people think that if the woman was intelligent she would want to be exercising her mind with daily adult-interaction, not wasting her education by staying at home. However, according to ABCnews.com, "Census figures show that 54 percent of mothers with a graduate or professional degree no longer work full time". Why is that? Because women with college degrees who choose to stay home aren't wasting their brains, they are teaching their children. Who better to teach them than the well-educated mother?
The third argument against women staying home is that they become a financial drain on the family. Many argue that in today's struggling financial situation, a family cannot make it without a two-person income. However, if you look at the figures in detail, you will realize that in many instances, it actually costs money to work everyday when you have children. According to an article on About.com, "Should Both Parents Work?", there are several costs that factor into your actual net income. These costs not only include taxes you pay out, but also the cost of child care, commuting to work, the price of lunch and "convenience food", the cost of clothing appropriate for the workforce, as well as additional costs such as dry cleaning and paying someone to clean your house. Based on a $30,000 salary, About.com claims that you are actually netting $1.75/hour. Beyond this, there are many other frugal ways to save money that SAHMs are known for: cutting coupons, shopping at several different stores to catch all the sales, buying store brand, etc. Add in the innovative ways many SAHMs are supplementing income with stay-at-home jobs, and it is quite evident that SAHMs are probably saving the family money rather than being a financial burden.
Hopefully the next time you hear someone claim staying home with the children as their full-time job, you don't immediately adopt one of these stereotypes. The problem is that in our culture, oftentimes a job is not just what pays the grocery bill. It has become what defines us for other people. It is what gives us a sense of purpose in life. If this is true, if your job is going to define you, then let my job be a stay-at-home mom. I don't mind my children being my purpose in life. Maybe now you will respect my decision.