by R.E. Hay

Created on: May 20, 2009   Last Updated: May 29, 2009

I can't allow him to touch me. He is definitely not allowed to see me naked. Sex is totally out of the question if the lights are on. We all struggle with our body image. Many women have repeated these first few lines over and over in their head until they believe it is the truth. The real truth is everyone struggles to love their bodies. The harm begins when you allow this struggle to effect your relationship with your mate. There are many different ways you could be allowing your negative body image to reflect back onto your relationship.

The first is by withdrawing emotionally and sexually from your partner. Just because you are not comfortable with how you look naked does not mean your mate feels the same. Realize if your partner has been with you for some time, THEY ACCEPT YOU and THEY LOVE YOU! This means they accept your flaws and they love them! Regardless how you feel about your body, your partner still desires to connect with you physically. To deny them this most basic need is only pushing them away. It could also further their own body issues because they will think you do not want them or you may not be attracted to them. By denying our partners sexually, it can cause them to have their own body image issues or they may seek another physical connection outside the relationship; basically you could drive them to cheat.

The second way to bring your weight issues into the bedroom is best summed up in the saying "You are what you eat." Or in the case of many people who deprive themselves of food to be thin "you are what you are not eating." Starvation may seem like the quick and easy fix diet but it can do more harm to a person and their mate. Starvation can cause a person to be irritable, depressed, and just plain moody. All these side effects will parlay into how we treat our partners. Another side effect of starvation is a decreased sex drive; this is never healthy for a relationship.

On the opposite side of starving oneself is over eating. This too will impact your relationship in a negative way. If your partner and you were active when you met and then one of you gains a lot of weight, it will affect the way you bond as a couple. In any relationship, there are couple "hobbies." If one partner is incapable of participating in these hobbies, it can leave the other person wanting a new someone to share their activities with or they are just left alone. No one wants to FEEL alone especially when they have a mate at home. They want someone

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