by Sheldyn Himle

Created on: May 19, 2009

Missing you Already

If you knew the tears were simply flowing down my face like the rain I so adore, would it surprise you? It's certainly a side of me I didn't show you .. tried not to show you, because I knew you had enough pain in your life without mine. And you had fears that you might hurt me ... so I didn't want to prove you right. Truly, sweet man, I did it to myself. How I miss you so much in such a short time is ... incredibly mystifying and yet ... I do. There is this deafening silence that has pervaded my soul. A cacophony of sound surrounds me ... because I keep immersing myself in crowds ... desperately trying to abate the feeling of being swallowed up by this great void of communication.

Our initial contact was one of trepidation ... a plucky move to reconnect with someone I barely knew. But someone who apparently had stuck in my psyche as having been someone I should have known better. We were, after all, two lovers who barely had time to be friends. Though my first memory was of a very sweet outing, as friends ... interesting. I sent a greeting via both snail and cyber mail. You followed through by reaching back to me ... back through time, as we reminisced. I hadn't known if I should expect it, but you did complete the circuit of communication ... and we were off on a wonderfully, wild ride for the next four months.

From expressing simple pleasantries to lusciously, lascivious longings ... we careened our way through time and across space. I hadn't felt so close to someone in such a very long time, yet you were hundreds of miles away. We began to close that gap by conversing ... comparing our life's worth of experiences and finding those points of commonality. We laughed, we sighed ... we spoke no lies: the honesty often bowled me over.

Your soul touched mine ... seeped into my very core and entangled itself. I don't want to disentangle it ... knowing, as with an arrow, sometimes taking it out only serves to make the wound fatal. How did this happen? I was caught unaware of the possibility until ... until you began to reveal things about me that had touched you, in our younger days. I began to remember your touch, your face ... the ecstasy we had shared. Oddly, I had always remembered the smell of your hair ... but the rest had eluded me until ... you brought it back to me. I remembered holding the curves of your body, still taut curves ... pulling you closer into me ... as our shapes dissolved into each other.

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>