by Melissa Slager

Created on: May 19, 2009

Your bridesmaid is having cold stilettos? Fear of being bedecked in floral fiascoes, prom-picture throwbacks, or unflattering frocks is enough to make any girl give her place in the wedding-party line second thoughts - no matter how much she loves the bride-to-be.

But it is possible to pick dresses that complement every body shape and personality - without destroying your wedding color palette, much less your friendships. The key: Give them a choice. Here's a rundown of how to score bridesmaids dresses they'll love, according to three bride personalities.

~ Traditional: Go chic, go cheap

A common myth spawned by bridezilla: "You can just hem it and make it into a fun summer dress that you can wear forever and ever!" Dream on.

But if there's one thing that might trump fashion, it's frugality. And the bridal market is such big business that finding a variety of dresses that complement your wedding colors - and for rock-bottom prices - makes it easier to keep everybody happy (or at least accepting). Pay for the dresses yourself, and you'll ensure even more willing torsos.

Large chain stores follow fashion trends and offer an ever-changing array of dress styles, including mix-and-match separates, that leave any bridesmaid hard-pressed not to find at least one dress she likes. National locations also let out-of-town bridesmaids see what's available, try styles on, and get fitted.

~ Flexible: Focus on accessories

One of the simplest ways to give bridesmaids a say in what they wear, while maintaining a theme, is to put the spotlight on the little things they will share, such as flowers, jewelry, or scarves. Ask bridesmaids to provide their own dresses in a neutral color. Who doesn't have a little black dress in their closet? (Heck, if they don't, you're doing them a fashion favor by requesting they purchase one.) Then provide them with matching accessories that highlight your wedding palette, perhaps as your gift for being in the wedding party.

Worried that black is a bit drab for a summer affair? Don't worry; that fashion faux paus went out the door with the old rule of "no white after Labor Day." But to stay in season, request a knee- or tea-length dress.

Some novel accessory ideas to spice things up: chic clutch purses instead of bouquets that they can use for the after-party; cropped jackets instead of shawls that can be ditched before the dance floor; or fresh flowers tucked into up-do's that match the bridal bouquet.

~ Free Spirit: Free for all fun

Is there some kind of Wedding Bible that says "Thou shalt require matching gowns with puffy sleeves in fuchsia"? Please. Today's brides are just as likely to walk themselves down the aisle, have a Man of Honor stand by their side, and forgo the chapel for a national park. So here's the permission you need: Go ahead and break the rules!

Some fun alternatives: pick a historical era and then go on a group shopping spree with your bridesmaids (or bridesmen) to vintage clothing shops to find lace gloves, parasols, flapper dresses, or old-style hats; dig into closets to pull out those old prom dresses or suits; or have them wear simple sun dresses and buy matching sunglasses.

Is it "all about the bride"? You bet. But these approaches can help make sure her best buds have some fun while they make sure of it.

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