by Jeanine Gilbert

Created on: May 19, 2009

Why Saving Your Marriage For the Children Isn't a Good very idea

The kids tightly cover their tender ears, to block the screaming. They know daddy is swearing, and Mommy is crying, and wish the fighting would disappear like magic. The pillow shields their tearful faces hoping the loud echoes will fade away. Mother yells out she wants a divorce, and abruptly the fighting stops. The front door squeaks opens then slams shut, almost breaking off its hinges.

Their cute little eyes, and sweet innocent faces, know what really going on. They know their parents do not share the same bedroom. They can hear the non-stop fighting, and know that mommy and daddy are upset most of the time, and take it out on the kids.

What are you teaching your kids? That hitting, and name calling, is how to handle your problems. That it is okay to hit and abuse your children because you are mad at your partner. It is hard enough just to be married to your mate; however, living with a mate you no longer love is torture. You both are miserable and need to get out of the Marriage, for the sake of the kids.

If counseling will not work get out of the sand box, and take your toys home. You can have a friendly divorce if you both work at it. You will always be a family, but just not in the same household. Once the divorce is over, both parties should be a lot happier, and the children will sense it.

Children are resilient, and in time can use this to their advantage. Two Christmas's, birthday parties, homes with new things, new friends. This could be a great thing, especially when you start dating. When the kids are with your X spouse, you can have a party of your own. Situations will come up, and you have a babysitter, it works both ways. You are going to wish you divorced him years ago!

If you stay in this tragedy of a marriage, your kids will need years of adult therapy to learn how to have a normal relationship themselves. We do not want that for our children, we want them to have years of laughter and happiness, and contentment. You want them to tell you one day, Mom even though you had to divorce daddy, it was the best thing you could have done, and for that, I had a great childhood. You will be so thrilled knowing you did the right thing. Being a parent sometimes you never know if something you do today will create a big impact in their lives later.

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