by Terri Register

Created on: May 19, 2009   Last Updated: May 21, 2009

When I think about all of the possible outcomes of any given situation in my life, I know that God exists. Many of us take for granted what we cannot see and the grace and mercy that we are given on a daily basis. Many of us are unaware of the unforeseen dangers that surround us that have the potential to harm us. When I imagine all of the consequences that I could have endured from my misdeeds, I lift him up in the spirit of thanksgiving because I know how much he has blessed me by guarding my path.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties I fell into a deepening pit of depression and self-hatred that yielded mindlessness and recklessness in my way of life. Straying into worldly matters of lust and desire, I lived my life on the edge of morality; only considering myself and very few in-between. I've broken promises and I've broken hearts. I've occupied spaces that were not meant for me and invaded the blessings of others that were not mine. Even though my soul was shattering due to living an untamed life, he still loved me in a way that no human ever could. I praise him for his patience and understanding.

God spared my life during a time when I was out at all hours of the night mindlessly wandering the streets with the scent of alcohol on my breath and the stench of smoke on my clothes from clubs and bars. He protected me when I hung around environments that were not safe. He watched over me when I got into the passengers seat of a car with a driver who I thought was sober enough to drive. He shielded my body when I wasn't careful where I laid my head at night. He forgave me when I doubted his existence and mistakenly searched for his goodness in a secular form.

I know that God exists because he was there for me even when I pretended that he didn't exist. God saved me in spite of myself. He loved me when I didn't love myself. I abused my body and disregarded my well-being time and time again. I acted out of self-hatred and worthlessness. When I tore by body down he healed me by building my health back up. He has shown me through my life that he cares for me in the purest and greatest form of love - an unconditional love that motivates me to strive to be better. I feel him within my spirit, and I know that he cares for me. I know that God exists because he is watching over you and I and his love covers us from the crown of our heads to the soles of our feet.

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