by Ashlye K

Created on: May 19, 2009   Last Updated: May 22, 2009

Parenting is, hands down, the most difficult and rewarding job in the world. Despite the warm feeling we get when our teen says that we are the "coolest parent in the world", the reality is that our job as parents is to prepare our children for the world beyond the safe comforts of home. Our job is to teach them to be independent, and to arm them with enough knowledge to be able to care for themselves when they are on their own. This preparation usually involves setting boundaries, restrictions, and limitations that a "best friend" would not be comfortable doing. A parent wears many hats during the tumultuous teenage years; all dependent upon the particular situation you are trying to guide your teen through at the time. Teenagers are at the stage in their lives when they are seeking independence. They are trying to establish their identities outside of their families, but because they don't have much life experience, they need you for guidance.

There are times they will need you to be their friend. You daughter will need you to be her friend when that first boy breaks her heart. Your son will need you to be his friend when he wants to know what to do to impress the first girl he has a crush on. They will need you to comfort them when they are sick or hurt, and they will need your advice when they are trying to apply for their first job, or are trying to decide what college to attend. Those are the times that your teen will need you to listen, comfort them, and hold their hand.

There are also those times when you will be perceived as their enemy. When you have to enforce those limitations and boundaries that you have established, teens may try to assert their independence, and pull away from you. Since teenagers have such limited life experience, they need us to protect them from the outside world, and sometimes from themselves. When we wear this hat, we become unpopular with our teens. Setting controls on the computer and restricting use of certain websites will certainly not sit well with your teenager. Establishing a curfew, monitoring their friends, their phone conversations, and their activities, definitely don't get you placed in the "friend" category.

The different hats of parenting are many. Due to the complexity of a teenage life, you may need to change your hats several times a day. You cannot restrict yourself to one hat or another. Just being their "best friend" will not be enough to successfully navigate them through the rough waters of those teenage years.

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