by Lovia Larkin

Created on: May 19, 2009   Last Updated: May 27, 2009

Support and Inspiration for Sober Living

It can be difficult to fight the battle for sober living all alone without support from others or that deep indwelling of inspiration found in yourself. For many the battle begins inwardly; you had plenty of friends when you were enjoying the party life, but now that your world doesn't revolve around the next fix, but the next moment of sober living it can be lonely, especially if you are as many, inhibited and socially awkward with out "a little help."

The problem with "a little help" of the chemical kind is that it does nothing to help the root problem; for many this is shyness, isolation and insecurities and sober living equals somber living, they just don't know how to have fun any other way. When I coach teens and young adults one of the first issues we face is the difference between the chemical person and the "straight" person, the Jekyll and Hyde if you will. By determining what the individual is chasing a program and support system can be put in place. We begin with the 24 / 7 exercise. A person's life really is 24/7 and in this activity the person is asked to delve into themselves and write twenty four things that they like about themselves and then seven items that they dislike and/or would like to work on through sober living. The twenty four items enforce the positive and the seven give a starting base to work with and that insight into who Hyde is . . . or who is hiding from sober living.

While people would rather cling to the known, their friends and their way of life may not the support what they need to make progress in their new attempt at sober living. I have never been one to ascribe to the philosophy that one must completely severe themselves from everyone in their lives with whom they have associated; but in my coaching sessions the second item we tackle is who truly wants to see the person in a state of sober living and who wants the person to remain the source of the party or encourages self defeating behaviors. It seems very simplistic in the approach, but I have found it to be an eye opening experience. For each main person in the life of the individual that I coach in sober living a simple diagram is used; a cross is created on the page, the upper right is labeled good attributes, the upper left undesirable characteristic, the bottom right is labeled positive things experience by, with or because of this person and finally on the lower left the label negative things experience

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