by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: May 19, 2009

How many times have I said to my husband, "You show more consideration for absolute strangers than you do for me!" in utter frustration? And, on the flip side, how many times have I gotten impatient and short-tempered with my husband only to smile at the bank teller or the waiter at the restaurant a moment later? This is hurtful to relationships because it is hurtful to the people involved in them. If we can be kind and considerate to the stranger we encounter, we are obviously able to be that same way to those we care about, yet we choose not to.

Imagine if we were to treat our partners like we treat strangers. How much different would things be for us? My guess is that our relationships would improve significantly. We would feel valued and appreciated, as would our partners. People who feel appreciated and valued in relationships are more likely to give more, compromise more, and demand less. They feel secure and don't need to constantly look out for number one, so to speak.

Relationships are hard work, if they are to be successful. They are rewarding, but that is not to say that every second is all flowers and sunshine. There are times in every relationship that require self-control and a biting of the tongue. Thinking before we speak is essential, but we often forget that in long-term relationships of the romantic nature. It isn't necessarily that we intend to hurt our partners, but we do all the same in our thoughtlessness.

With strangers, we are constantly trying to make a good impression, even though it may be someone that we'll never see again. We put our best foot forward so that we look like decent and respectable people. Why don't we do that with the people that we are going to see every day? Is it that we feel so comfortable in these relationships that we forget the need to treat them with care? Often, I believe that that is the case.

If we try, though, we can begin to change our habits for the better. We can bite our tongue when impatient and inconsiderate words are on their tips. We have the ability to treat our partners with all the respect that we give strangers, and even more. They are more important by far. We need only start with the willingness to try. It may take a bit of time, but we will enhance our relationships immensely if we do this. We will experience a greater degree of happiness, security, and a sense of appreciation that we don't have otherwise.

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