by Melissa A.F.

Created on: May 19, 2009

The people who make suicide an uncomfortable and difficult topic to discuss are those who are ignorant about all aspects of suicide. Those who are uneducated about this topic are the ones who have made suicide something taboo, therefore this can make those who are knowledgeable and experienced want to remain tight lipped about this controversial issue.

In my opinion, the problem with conversations surrounding suicide is too much ignorance and not enough experience and genuine knowledge. That alone is an important reason to speak openly about suicide; the ignorance needs to be balanced out by those who truly know and understand suicide.

There are many reasons suicide should be talked about openly. Anything that is swept under the rug will surely come to the surface eventually and when it does surface it will be that much more difficult to discuss. Of course suicide is not an easy topic; taking one's live is both a heartbreaking and tragic situation.

The only thing that can be done to make it more heartbreaking and tragic is to be ashamed of a loved one who has died by suicide. To act humiliated and feel shame for the act of a loved one that felt such a severe pain is in my book unacceptable and can only contribute to those uneducated people who go around spewing their ignorant opinion about suicide.

As a suicide survivor, I know first hand that it can seem easier to turn away, to temporarily remove yourself from the situation. However, the key word here is temporary. Once you experience a loved one taking their own life, that will forever be a defining moment. It will be something that can take years to sort through and accept. However, as you learn acceptance, never feel ashamed of your situation. It is all too often that people forget that those who die by suicide are ending an intense suffering that those of us in our right minds could never fathom. I have said many times throughout my life that suicide is a death of the mind before it takes a life.

As a survivor, I have learned firsthand how cruel people can be about suicide. I actually had someone tell me my father was in hell right now because of what he did. I am sorry, but I did not get the memo where people on earth know who is populating hell right at this very moment. Oh, did I mention this person was a "Christian"?

Let me be the first to say I am a Catholic and my father took his own life. I do not believe for one moment that he is in hell. Don't get me wrong, I am not a pillar of strength at all times. I cried when that person got in my face to inform me my father was in hell, but those type of people only fuel my fire to make people understand that suicide is more than "some selfish person who acted irrational". It is so much more than that, but if those of us who know that refuse to open up then we are choosing to accept that our loved ones are "in hell". We are choosing to accept that they are selfish, stupid, irrational, or any other insult people come up with. By staying silent, we are adding to the ignorance.

I will never be afraid to be a voice for my father and for the rest of us who have a hole in our hearts that suicide ripped open. For those who avert their eyes and look anywhere but my face when they learn I have a parent who took his own life, I make them look at me and let them know there is nothing to be sorry about. I am not ashamed, so don't you dare be. I choose to accept his choice and understand him the best I can, and part of this understanding is helping those who cannot understand open their eyes.

Suicide is not a topic of shame and humiliation; it is a topic of importance. Do not be afraid to speak up for those who no longer can.

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