by Ma. Teresa Baniaga

Created on: May 18, 2009

Majority of mothers who work outside the home do so because of their desire to give their children and family a better life. That alone, is a trait of a good mother. It is unfair for people to think that working moms prioritize their careers over their families, or worse, that they do not care what becomes of their children while they are working their socks off in the office.

On the contrary, most of these hardworking women hurt inside whenever they are not in PTA meetings or are not there when their little angels come home from school. It's just that they are made of tougher substance, with stronger determination and clearer vision for them and their families. At the end of the day, these women who have the strength to set aside their own feelings for the sake of the whole family, are heroes in their own right.

Let's face it, the times are different now. Gone are the days when families can subsist on single incomes. Nowadays, it is almost impossible for most of us to put food on the table and send the kids to school without both parents working. Which is more acceptable, a woman with education and skills choosing to stay at home and leave all the breadwinning to the father while her whole family hardly makes do, or someone with initiative, willing to walk the tightrope to strike a balance between family and career, so that the children are well-fed and clothed and given good education? Would you rather admire a woman who contents herself with staying at home hiding behind the pretense of being a good mom while she cannot even tell if her children will ever have the chance to get to college, or someone who takes matters into her own hands and sets up a system which allows her to work while raising her children so that she can provide for them a better quality of life?

The crux of this whole debate lies on the definition of a good mother. There are as many definitions as there are people who attempt to define her. One way to describe a good mother is her character. Is she caring, loving, affectionate or considerate? Does she put her family's needs above her own? Or is she selfish and vain and spiteful?

If we go by character to describe a good mother, it means that being a good mother does not rest on what she does (e.g., working versus staying at home), but rather, on her attributes that define her mothering style. Therefore, a working mother can be a good mother as much as a stay-at-home mother can.

A good mother can also be defined by her parenting style. Is

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