by Barry Mccormick

Created on: May 18, 2009   Last Updated: May 19, 2009

Regrettably words can simply roll off of the tongue far too quickly. Before there is even a chance to think about how you respond to a particular question or incident the words have vaulted from our lips to the ear of the hearer. This, I would argue, happens for a couple of reasons which are: stupidity and passion.

There are times when we are convinced of something that either is not true or incorrect to be fact. We maybe heard it in passing, or were gullible enough to believe someone who was pulling our leg about a particular fact. So when someone says something contrary to what we now believe as fact, because we have taken this knowledge on without question and research to see if it is authentic, we will immediately jump in and give our pennies worth. This will just simply lead to being shot down in our tracks. However even though we have been told we are wrong we will still go on to defend what we believe is true even though it has been said to be wrong until we see the proof for ourselves.

After realising we are wrong, it only ends in a time of embarrassment. What has more serious consequence is when those words leap from our lips without thought in a fury of passion about something.

Passion about something, deep emotion, when it takes hold can be uncontrollable. You suspect, for instance, a partner is cheating on you or does not love you like they once did. For a while it builds up inside you and finally one day s/he comes in from work or the gym and you find accusations and insults flying from one's mouth. Now there can be two possibilities to this scenario.

Firstly, you have suspected correctly. Now depending on the severity of the unfaithfulness and if any love or respect for each other is still there, there may be room, after tempers have died off, for reconciliation. If not the final end is a broken relationship. However even if there is reconciliation, the relationship will not, and can not be as it used to be, time will need to mend that.

Secondly if your wrong. You have probably displayed the most distrust in your partner than ever. How can anyone stay with someone who does not trust them? However depending on the love that is there, reconciliation could still happen, but even then displays of distrust have a way of fracturing a relationship. Again time will need to be the healer.

So in this case the un-thought through words of passion will only end in a relationship being broken to some degree.

There are those words which are not thought about which are beneficial. When people speak out against injustices and do not think of any possible consequences whether it is rejection, prison, or abandonment. These people who speak up just speak purely out of passion and the passion speaks. When I say it is not thought about I do not mean in the sense as they don't know what they are talking about but rather they just speak entirely out of passion and the words just flow. In a sense they come purely from the heart and not the mind.

Unfortunately, however, in the every day life with interactions between friends, family and partners it is more likely to be instances like or similar to the words of passion which result in a broken relationship of some kind.

Words, unfortunately, can have a destructive power. It is wise to think through what you are going to say and try and hold back irrational speaking with no thought. Before you open your mouth think, " Are these words going to ruin this relationship? Is this a relationship that I'm indifferent about loosing?" Now depending on your answer to these will depend on your new response.

Think. Speak. This is the order to retain relationships, and for the road to reconciliation to be easier if need be.

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