by Shara Smith

Created on: May 18, 2009

When I had my daughter at barely 17 years old, all I wanted to do was stay with her. I felt that I was best able to care for her, and that she needed me to be there for her. I was prepared to go to school to learn a trade that I could stay home and do. I would need to bring someone in to play with and care for her, but I would be there if she needed me, if she needed to nurse, if she was hurt, or whatever. I was a single mom, so there was no chance of a man helping bring in money, but I felt that I had a solid plan. Even though I was actively seeking Medical Transcription training, not one person supported me. Everyone told me that it was a nice thought, but I needed a REAL job, and even went out of their way to make me fail in my plans. When I got pregnant with my son I had to quit my job due to pregnancy complications, and never took another job.

My husband has a parttime job, and we just make it, but I stay home with our son to give him the best chance possible in life. I spend time playing with him and taking him to the park...He is a year old, and is still nursing. Two days a week he spends 3 hours at a great center where I take parenting classes, and they tell me he is months ahead of himself. In fact, at 9 months they did a twelve month ASQ and he had a perfect score. They believe it's because I spend so much time playing with him and working with him, trying to give him the best chance.

My husband's family and our friends are constantly telling me I need to get a job. They say my son won't have a decent life unless we both work, but that defies logic. We are doing it and our son is reaping untold benefits. We do have to sacrifice some things, we don't have a car. We bike everywhere. We can't afford to smoke, so my husband is quitting. We can't afford to eat out, we can't afford to do a lot of things. But we are doing it and are happy.

I don't understand the emphasis on stuff that our country has. When it comes right down to it, what is my little boy going to remember? Will he remember me reading to him, playing at the park? Will he remember cooking with me? Or will he remember running everywhere, with no time to stop and breathe? Being dropped off at the daycare and crying because he doesn't want me to leave him? Really, it is everybody's own responsibility to create the life that they consider important for their children's development, and yet no one can see me and my story without telling me that I need to "get a job, for your son's sake".

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