by Laurie Kaiser

Created on: May 18, 2009   Last Updated: May 22, 2009

Your mother was right when she told you (or should have told you), Never show up to a dinner party empty handed. If your idea of a hostess gift is a package of Twinkies, consider this: Because the host or hostess has likely put a lot of thought and effort into entertaining, it's good etiquette for invited guests to show appreciation with a small, but tasteful, gift. If you find it hard to find the right gift for the person who entertains, consider these 10 ideas:

1) Candles. Appreciated by party hosts, candles are used in seven out of 10 households, according to the National Candle Association. Unscented candles are best because they don't compete with the aroma of the food. Choose something special like hand-dipped, beeswax or historic bayberry. Combine the candles with an attractive box of wooden matches.

2) Specialty products. A locally made specialty product, such as a set of goat's milk guest soaps, makes a nice gift and supports the local economy. For more impact, combine two or three items from one farm. A pampering gift of locally made soap and lotion is especially thoughtful.

3) Spices and extracts. Any serious foodie appreciates spices and extracts. Arrange a small basket or other container with essential spices such as cinnamon sticks and nutmeg or real extracts such as vanilla or almond.

4) Wine. It's an old stand-by, but wine is something most hosts appreciate. A product from a local winery would be especially nice. Wine charms and a wine-tasting journal also make thoughtful gifts.

5) Books. Foodies are always trolling for new recipes and entertaining ideas. Why not give a coffee table-quality book about food or wine? A beautifully photographed and well-written book offers a feast for the eyes, as well as food for thought. You can often find such books in the bargain section of larger bookstores.

6) Kitchen collectibles. For the host or hostess who is also a collector, check out online auctions, estate sales and thrift shops for vintage aprons, dish towels and other kitchen collectibles in excellent condition. Sometimes it's possible to find vintage items in unused condition.

7) Grilling tools. More people are entertaining outdoors. For the grill master, a new barbecue tool, such as a corn-roasting basket or thermometer fork, would be useful and in good taste.

8) Gift certificate. If you prefer to let the host choose, purchase a gift certificate from a gourmet cook store or specialty food shop.

9) Flowers. If they are sent after the party, flowers make a beautiful gift. When a guest arrives with cut flowers, however, the host/hostess feels he or she has to interrupt the flow of party preparations to find a vase, which is inconvenient.

10) Food. While it's easy for a host to amass a stash of unwanted specialty food items, it's entirely appropriate to bring a non-perishable specialty food that you know your host appreciates, such as a jar of local honey, perhaps, or a bottle of pure maple syrup.

In general, it's not a good idea to bring food to a dinner party unless you're asked to contribute. You don't want to make the host feel obligated to serve something that might not work with the rest of the meal. If the party is potluck, you don't have to bring a gift because you are contributing to the meal, but to send a thank-you note soon after the event would be a welcomed gesture.

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